


Starving - Matsuoka Rin x OC - Free Iwatobi Swim Club

by PuddyGeeks



Category: Free!
Genre: Anxiety, Bullying, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2020-08-14 11:07:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 41,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20191261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PuddyGeeks/pseuds/PuddyGeeks
Summary: **ON HIATUS**TRIGGER WARNING - BULLYING AND ANXIETY, NO RAPE BUT SOME IMPLIED THREATYuko grew up in Iwatobi but had a troubled past with bullying. She moved back to England in Elementary school, but has now returned to deal with her history. Yuko falls back into a routine with her old best friend Matsuoka Gou, but finds she is still having issues with not fitting in. A certain red haired boy may be able to help her find acceptance...





	1. Starting over

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended. (x)
> 
> YUKO (1-優子, 2-裕子, 3-祐子): Japanese name meaning 1) "affectionate child," 2) "child of leisure," and 3) "helpful child."
> 
> MORI From Japanese 森 (mori) meaning "forest".

I stood outside the gates of Iwatobi Elementary school anxiously, feeling my entire body tremble. It was late, so there was no one here to be afraid of, but I still felt the uncontrollable terror as I stared up at the institute that had been home to some of the worst years of my life. It felt almost impossible for me to have returned here, and yet here I stood in the cool evening breeze, shaking like the same traumatised child I was the last time I was here. It was difficult to acknowledge that so many years had passed, and yet so much was the same. I believed that moving away would be the answer to all of my problems, but when I found that it wasn't, it left me feeling more lost than ever before. It had taken me years to find the courage to return to Japan, and although that courage felt distant now, I knew I had done the right thing. My parents got an apartment in Tokyo, believing their work options better there than back in Iwatobi, so I turned to walk back to the halls I had been placed in at Nishi High School.

I wondered through the dark town alone, growing increasingly distressed at all the familiar sights, and tried to keep my breathing calm. I had chosen to attend Nishi High instead of Iwatobi in an effort to avoid the kids that had made life difficult when I last lived here, and I hoped that choice would make my transition a little easier.

I crept back through the halls and into my new dorm room, relieved that Nishi allowed single rooms, and promptly locked the door behind me. The room was overcrowded with all of my belongings that were still in boxes & suitcases; I had only moved in that day and had avoided speaking to anyone yet or making any effort to settle in. I sat in a heap on the floor for a while, breathing slowly and trying to regain control of my nerves. After a while, I felt calm enough to speak and so dialled my mums number. She had made me promise to let her know once I'd arrived, and I'd been wondering around town for a while. She answered almost immediately.

"Hello Yuko sweetheart, are you settled in?"

I sighed heavily. "Hey mum, yeah I'm here."

"That's good news! We've been waiting to hear from you, you must be all unpacked by now!" She cheered, trying far too hard to be positive.

"Uhm...not so much" I grumbled, glancing around at all of the overstuffed boxes. "I've been getting myself re-orientated...I uh, visited Iwatobi Elementary."

"Oh..." Mum sighed. "You know, you could come and live with us in Tokyo darling, you don't have to go back to Iwatobi at all, you could have a new life here." This wasn't the first-time mum had suggested this, to be honest I'd lost track now. She hadn't let go of the 'fresh start' idea and it was difficult to make her understand that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life running from my problems.

"Mum, you know it's not that simple. We already had a new life in England, remember? I still got picked on." I mumbled.

"I know darling, it's not fair. Your father and I were born there, it's your home, we thought it would be better for you. But I guess you were too different after so many years away."

"Japan's my home mum, it's where I was born and where I grew up. I was never going to fit-in back in England, I speak fluent Japanese, I have all the wrong interests and style" I sighed deeply before continuing "I stuck out like a sore thumb. Not that I fit-in here either."

"I don't understand you youngsters obsession with fitting in nowadays?! What's wrong with standing out? You are beautiful and talented and wonderful, of course you stick out!" Mum exclaimed, I rolled my eyes. "You should be proud of who you are Yuko, you're unique."

"It's easier said than done mum." I groaned. "And you're the only person who sees me that way."

"Not the only person."

"What do you mean?" I asked, thoroughly puzzled. I didn't have any friends to speak of, here or in England.

"Well, don't be mad..." She trialled off nervously. "I texted Gou."

"Oh Mum!" I exclaimed.

"Well I couldn't stand the idea of you being out there all by yourself, you need at least one friend to keep you company, someone to talk to. You can't completely isolate yourself Yuko, it's not healthy. You and Gou used to be so close..."

"When we were in the same classes yeah... but she's at Iwatobi probably anyway!" I rolled my eyes again, squirming awkwardly at the idea of seeing Gou again.

"Yes, she is, I checked. I also gave her your number so expect a text." Mum said cheerfully. I groaned.

"I have to go mum, I'm going to practice, I scouted out a gym with a pool earlier, it's in the next town so it'll take me a while to get there."

"Oh okay, well...good. But you can't keep travelling that far on your own, you need somewhere closer to practice...Are you going to join the swim team?"

I shifted uncomfortably. "I don't know yet."

"We both know you can't live without swimming darling, that's what you went back there for. You're about to join the second-year, you need to be getting in competitions to get scouted, don't you? Besides you never know, you might make friends!"

"Fine, fine. I'll sort it out tomorrow okay? I really have to go mum."

It still took me a while longer to get her off the phone, and by the time she did I'd lost all motivation to practice. Instead I focused on getting myself unpacked and getting into bed early ready for the first day of school. I laid in bed nervously, unable to drop off to sleep, when my phone buzzed. Sure enough, it was a text from Kou. I groaned again.

[9:30 pm]

From: Kou

To: Yuko

Good evening Yuko, it's Kou! Your mother said you were back in Iwatobi and gave me your number, I hope that's okay?

I tossed and turned for a while holding the phone, trying to decide whether to answer. I closed every door when I left Japan during Elementary school in an effort to protect myself, and although I had returned with the idea of confronting my fears, it seemed even more difficult now that I was actually here.

[9:35 pm]

From: Yuko

To: Kou

Hello Kou, yes I am. It's fine.

I answered eventually and locked my phone, trying again to get to sleep. A few minutes later it buzzed again, and I groaned at it irritably.

[9:37 pm]

From: Kou

To: Yuko

That's great news! We should meet up for a catch up, it's been such a long time...I would really like to see you again. :)

I rolled my eyes and locked the phone again. I wasn't sure what to say, I certainly wasn't ready to meet up just yet, there was still so much for me to re-adjust to, and jumping straight back into life with my old best friend was too much. I tossed and turned for a while longer but eventually managed to drop off to sleep.

***

A few weeks had passed and I had joined the Nishi swim team. It certainly wasn't because the girls trusted me, or liked me. Fortunately though I got the fastest time at try-outs so had managed to get through on skill alone. Kou had been texting regularly to check up on me, and had suggested meeting up several times, however I had avoided planning anything. I knew it sounded like I was being cold, but I wasn't sure how else to deal with it. She had managed to squeeze out of me that I was on the swim team now, and had congratulated me, but I hadn't given any further detail about my life.

Today I was attending my first swim event to support the team. The local swim teams had arranged races at the Nishi school pool, as a warm up to the competitive season. I hadn't been selected to swim, and I wasn't overly surprised. The Nishi Captain didn't like me at all, and did all she could to make my life on the team difficult. But I didn't care, as long as I got to swim I was happy. It was early when I woke and started to dress in my Nishi team uniform; black tracksuit bottoms, white trainers, white t-shirt and our deep blue jacket with purple stripes. I knew I should feel proud to wear it, but as I slipped the jacket around me I only felt numb.

I brushed out my long multi-coloured locks and tied it back into two French plaits. I smiled as I did this, remembering my mother's astonishment when I first coloured it. "Purple hair with blue and pink streaks? I thought you didn't want to draw attention?" I chuckled under my breath. Although it was true that I had spent most of my life trying to be invisible, once I got to England I realised that no matter how much I tried to blend into the background, I was always going to stand out. So instead I embraced it and allowed my eccentric style to flow. My hair now reached my waist, with heavy bangs cut above my eyebrows, and I still enjoyed the original three colours. I wondered whether to take out my nose ring and several ear piercings as I wouldn't actually be swimming today when my phone beeped.

[7:37 am]

From: Captain Oshiro

To: Yuko

Mika has hurt herself and can't swim. You're in. School pool 8:30, you're doing freestyle. Swim a better time than your try-out and I might let you compete at the prefecturals.

I re-read the text three times before it sunk in. I felt my spirits lift as soon as I realised, today I would swim. I texted straight back.

[7:39 am]

From: Yuko

To: Captain Oshiro

Sorry to hear about Mika. I will be there.

I hurriedly gathered my swimsuit & the rest of my supplies and made my way to the school pool. Once there I found most of the team waiting, including Captain Oshiro, looking as pissed off as usual.

"Apologies Captain Oshiro-senpai, I got here as soon as I could."

She simply smirked at me and started to head inside, to which I followed with my head bowed. I waited in silence in the changing room whilst the male events took place. Most of the girls went out to cheer for particular boys, or to check them out with their friends. I took the time to get changed into my swimsuit, and carefully pull the swim cap over my plaited hair. I paced around the changing room, awaiting my event, and trying to get focused. This was the closest I'd come to a competitive swim in a long time, and although I'd kept my training up, I felt a new level of terror at the idea of all the local swim teams watching. I tapped my fingers on my legs nervously.

"Mori, Yuko for Nishi High School." The announcement rung around the pool, amidst a list of other names and I felt my heart stop for a moment. I took a deep breath and stepped out to the pool area. As I emerged from the locker rooms, the light was momentarily blinding and I held my hand up to shield my eyes. The pool felt much bigger than usual, with all the other swimmers sat around watching and the pressure was threatening to overwhelm me.

I approached the podium nervously, aware that I was currently standing in front of many men in only a swimsuit and my jacket. I had chosen a long suit that had shorts at the bottom, to cover a little more of my body, but even so I felt very self-conscious and tugged on my jacket awkwardly. I waited for all the others to reach their podiums before we all shed our jackets and stepped up. Some of the boys cheered or whistled, and while most of the girls beside me seemed to be enjoying it, I felt my legs begin to shake. I looked up at the crowds for a moment and felt like I might vomit, so moved my eyes straight back to the water.

The whistle blew and I stretched out into the water, feeling all of my nerves dissipate the second it touched my skin.

***

**RIN'S POV**

The last of the male races were over, but none of the men had moved off. They were instead taking positions round the pool to watch the women, behaving like predators as they grouped together and lurched over the females. I rolled my eyes at them and separated from my team, instead seeking out the Iwatobi boys and Gou. Haru, Makoto, Nagisa and Rei were all standing in a circle chatting excitedly at one side of the pool, however Gou had her back to them and was staring out across the pool, hopping from one foot to the other like a fussy child.

"Gou, what are you doing?"

"Oh, onii-chan! I'm looking out for Yuko-chan, she's supposed to be on the Nishi team! I remember her swimming so well, they can't have not picked her."

"Who is Yuko-chan?" I raised an eyebrow in annoyance. The name was vaguely familiar, but she couldn't mean the same person I was thinking of. It had been too many years.

"You remember her onii-chan! From elementary! She used to come to our house all the time, and we were always together in school, we used to hold hands in the playground...well until she started having all that trouble." Gou huffed, and shuffled her feet uncomfortably.

"Mori-san?" I asked in surprise. "I thought she went home." I covered by adding coldly, crossing my arms.

"Oh, well, she did. But her mother text me saying she had come back to Iwatobi, her parents are in Tokyo so she's in Nishi halls. Mori-Sama was worried about Yuko-chan being alone, so she gave me her number. She's been here almost a month, but I still haven't been able to see her."

"Maybe she's avoiding you." I grumbled.

"Onii-chan!" Gou exclaimed, elbowing me in a manner that I think was supposed to hurt, but I didn't move. "She's not avoiding me! She's just got stuff going on..." Gou pouted. We were interrupted by an announcement saying that female races were about to start, and everyone settled into place, including the Iwatobi guys who had stopped talking and sat down.

"You guys are staying too?" I asked with an annoyed tone.

"Yes! We want to see Yuko-chan swim too!" Nagisa chirped in an irritatingly cheerful way. Gou shushed them as the freestyle race names were announced, before screaming and jumping up and down when Mori Yuko's name was called. I rolled my eyes and pulled her back into her seat.

I crossed my arms and huffed. "What's the big deal? It's just one girl."

As she stepped out, my eyes were immediately drawn to her and I raised my eyebrows. She was incredibly petite, especially beside all the other swimmers, and she looked especially nervous as she waited by her podium.

Seeming to think the same as me, Mako quietly leaned over. "She's...tiny." He said gently.

"She's like a chibi...chibi-ko!" Nagisa giggled and I felt an unintentional smile creep across my lips.

"Has she grown at all since elementary?" Haru drawled in his usual cold manner. Gou slapped his arm and he failed to even wince.

We all turned our attention back as the girls shed their jackets and stepped onto their podiums. Many of the guys were cheering and catcalling, or just plain standing with their mouths open. I felt a rose blush spreading across my face, but was too shocked to try to cover it. My eyes drifted over her petite shape, for what I could see of it, her suit was much more modest that the others. She was muscular for sure, but only to the point of being perfectly toned, with an in-proportion bust and wide hips. She made the others look thoroughly frumpy by comparison, but didn't seem to be at all aware of it, behaving very uncomfortably at the audience.

"I don't know Haru, she's certainly grown in some places." I sneered, to which Haru broke a slight smile and the other guys laughed awkwardly.

"Onii-chan!" Gou gasped, slapping my arm. "Don't say such things! Such a guy..." She groaned.

I looked back at the pool just in time to see Yuko look up at the audience and make dead eye contact with me. It was only a split second, and I wasn't sure if she had realised who she was looking at, but it was enough to make my face flush hot.

"Oniiiii-chan" Gou purred. "You look like a tomato."

"Shut up Gou." I growled, crossing my arms and turning away from her. "She's swimming freestyle...I don't remember her swimming at all."

"That's because you were always too busy with your relay race, you didn't notice many things..."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I snapped, annoyed to think I could have missed anything.

"Oh, nothing." Gou laughed awkwardly.

The whistle blew and she dove into the water with a grace that stunned me. Unconsciously I sat forward in my seat, almost falling off the bench. She surfaced far beyond the others and in no time at all was uncatchable. The way she cut through the water was so powerful and yet completely beautiful...like she belonged there. Her body moved so naturally, like she didn't even have to think about it and I found myself mesmerised by her movements. I vaguely heard the others gasping at her speed, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from her. She had already reached the end and turned rapidly. She made me think more of a dancer than a swimmer, her limbs gliding gracefully through the water in perfect harmony. The rest of the swimmers were still on their first lap and she was tearing her way to the finish like an unstoppable force. I couldn't help but be impressed. In what felt like a heartbeat, her fingers stretched out to the finish and for the first time I took my eyes off her to look at her time. My mouth dropped open and my eyebrows raised.

"Her time..." I muttered. It was only 5 seconds slower than mine.

"She almost matched you and Haruka-senpai!" Gou gasped. The room was silent as the results sunk in, most of the guys were standing open mouthed and the rest of the girls closed in behind her. The results board lit up the rest of the times, and people stared around in shock. "That's incredible for a girl, I've never seen any girl get a time that fast!" Gou suddenly jumped up and started screaming and clapping, and once the silence was broken it spread across the room.

Yuko was still staring down at the water and trying to get her breath, but I noticed that none of her team mates were coming to help her out of the pool like the others. She looked up at her time, and instead of celebrating as expected, she did something strange; she punched the water and growled. For a moment, she put her head in her hands, looking exasperated. The Iwatobi team looked in pure bewilderment, especially Gou. Yuko pulled herself out of the water, and as she started to walk to the changing rooms with her head down, the team captain bumped into her shoulder with a smirk. Yuko stopped for a moment, still looking at the floor before walking away with a stone cold face.

"She's...not happy?" Gou said, flabbergasted. "That was an incredible time, why does she look so angry?"

"I know that look." I said quietly.

"Eh?" Gou looked at me quizzically. "How?"

"I used to have it, not so long ago."


	2. Reunited at last

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed this and want me to write more, leave me a comment! Comments motivate me to work ;)

**Yuko’S POV**

I stood shaking in the locker rooms, having just punched a locker in frustration. I couldn’t beat my time, I’d already swam my best at try-outs. Oshiro knew that, she’d set me an impossible challenge and I’d gone for it bait and all. “Bitch!” I growled to no one.

I decided not to hang around any longer and quickly changed. I gathered my stuff and left my hair in the messy plaits with only my fringe out. By the time I’d got ready to leave, the events seemed to be over, and I quickly crept out of the building. I got outside, and found somewhere quiet to wait for my team. I knew there was a coach back to the halls, and I’d already wasted enough money this morning getting here at the last minute. I was standing around awkwardly looking at my phone when a familiar voice squealed out. 

“Yuko-chan!” A mess of maroon hair came flying at me as Kou threw her arms around me, and I pulled away uncomfortably. I used to be an affectionate and touchy person, and so Kou thought nothing of hugging me, but I was yet to get used to friendly contact from people nowadays. “You did so well!” She beamed as I squeezed out of her grasp.

“Kou-chan, thank you.” I answered quietly.

“See, she calls me Kou!” She turned on her heel and appeared to scold someone. I leaned slightly to see past her, and saw Makoto, Haruka, Nagisa and a boy with blue hair approaching. Oh no, too much!

Makoto reached me first, and gave a warm smile. “Yuko-chan, it’s lovely to see you again.” He leaned over and nudged Haruka, who managed a bored looking hello.

“Yuko-chaaaaan!” Nagisa stepped forward and went to throw himself at me for a wide armed hug, but I manoeuvred myself behind Gou and the blue haired boy caught him by the back of his shirt. “Ow! Stop it Rei.” He pouted. “Yuko-chan, it’s been so many years, I missed you so much!”

I chuckled and shifted uncomfortably. “Yeah, I missed you guys too.”

Gou cleared her throat at the blue haired boy, who handed Nagisa over to Makoto before stepping forward and adjusting his glasses confidently. “Mori-senpai, allow me to introduce myself, I am Ryugazaki Rei, 2nd year student. I am honoured to have witnessed your beautiful swimming” He threw himself forward and bowed awkwardly.

“Gahh!” I gasped, jumping behind Kou for protection.

“Rei, don’t be formal…or so forward, you’re freaking Yuko-chan out.” Rei apologised profusely, before stepping back with the rest of the boys. Kou rounded on me. “You did swim amazingly well though, you were almost as fast as onii-chan…he was very impressed.” She winked at me suggestively.

“Oh, that’s…weird.” I mumbled, unsure how to react at that.

“Weird? It’s good! Onii-chan isn’t impressed easily, especially nowadays.” She bent down to meet my eyes as I was staring at my feet. “Ah, of course, you were always bashful around onii-chan, so snarky around everyone else.” It was true, I used to be much feistier when I was younger, full of sarcasm and cheek. But the years had changed that substantially, and I’d lost hope of ever getting that person back.

“Kou-chan!” I whined, feeling my face flush.

“What? It’s true, you should be happy, he was really impressed.” Kou sang.

I stood chatting with them for a little longer before they had to go and I waved them off with relief. But that relief was very short lived. A familiar deep voice carried from behind me as I waved off the others, and I felt my heart stop for a moment before turning around to face Rin, who looked cool and calm as always.

“Hey Chibi-ko, it’s been a while.” He smirked, towering over me. He was almost a foot taller than me nowadays.

“Y-yeah…it has been.” I stuttered nervously, feeling a blush growing on my face again. “How are you Matsuoka-san?”

His face dropped for a moment, and he seemed taken aback by the choice of name. But he quickly recovered, regaining his confident expression. “Oh…good. So, about your swimming, Gou told me that you used to swim, but I’m sure I’d have known if it was like that before. You kept up training at home?”

“Yeah, I did…it was a good focus for me.” I mumbled. I could barely meet his eyes, the embarrassment was suffocating.

“Well, it seems like it was worth it, you did great in there.” Rin laughed gently, before giving an overconfident smile. Gou wasn’t kidding, he really was impressed. I’d never seen Rin willingly give compliments before.

“Oh…uh…thanks.” I forced out, going an even brighter red. I mentally cursed my skin for betraying me.

He tilted his head to one side curiously and narrowed his eyes. “I’m surprised you came back.” I stared at the floor in silence, shuffling my feet and feeling like I wanted the ground to swallow me whole. I didn’t know what to say, how to explain it simply without sounding like an idiot, and I really didn’t want to sound like an idiot in front of Rin, not more than I already had over the years. Rin sighed deeply, and I glanced up in time to see him run a hand through his hair, resting it on the back of his neck shyly. The movement alone sent shivers down my spine. “So, uh…Gou told me why you left…if you have the same issues again…well, you’ve got people.”

I stared at the floor again, and shook my head, as my blush spread to my ears.

“Good, that’s good.” Rin said awkwardly. “It’s just… I noticed your Captain-“

“MORI! Get on the coach!” At that exact moment, Captain Oshiro’s brash voice cut across the courtyard. I flinched involuntarily at the sound, but didn’t move. I opened my mouth to excuse myself, but she appeared at my side angrily. “Mori!” She growled lowly. Suddenly, she caught sight of Rin and her entire behaviour changed in a second. She loosened up completely and her eyes sparkled as she set on him. Rin looked down at her with a cold expression. “Oh! You must be Matsuoka Rin-sama! You did amazingly well in there…well, you always do! I’d love to swim like you someday.” She gushed with a slight rosiness creeping onto her face. 

Rin looked bored, and this carried in his tone. “How do you know Yuko?”

Captain Oshiro looked taken aback to see Rin call me by my first name only, and I felt my eyes widen too. Rin didn’t seem to even notice he’d done it. “Oh, I’m her Captain, but we’re more like best friends right Yuko-chan?” She chirped, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and squeezing tightly with her hand in a subtle threat. I flinched involuntarily, and knew immediately from Rin’s eyes that he had seen it. Damn.

“Right…” He drawled unconvincingly.

“I’ve seen quite a few of your races, I’ve been at a lot of the competitive swimming events with Nishi.” Oshiro flipped her hair back flirtatiously. “You always seem to get outstanding times, you must be on your way to getting scouted by now Matsuoka-kun!” She gushed with doe-eyes. I could feel the irritation growing inside me by the second, and it was starting to overpower the anxiety I had developed in recent years. “Oh how rude of me, you don’t even know my name yet! Yuko-chan, aren’t you going to introduce me?” Oshiro purred, playing on the irritation she could clearly sense in me and testing the boundaries of her intimidation on me. For once though, she’d gone too far. I could feel my familiar feistiness flooding back in, I wasn’t sure what was causing it, perhaps Rin’s presence, or just seeing her so outrageously flirting with him, but either way it was bubbling to the surface.

“Actually Captain, I’m part of your team not your secretary, I’m sure you’re brash enough to introduce yourself. And I think you’ll find that we were in the middle of a private conversation. If you could excuse us…I’ll meet you on the coach.” I answered firmly, shrugging her arm off my shoulders. Rin almost laughed, but settled on a thick smirk.

Oshiro looked like she might have a heart attack or die of embarrassment, and her face didn’t seem to be able to decide which was the more immediate threat. But she quickly recovered, and her face descended into an evil smirk. 

“Oh but I was just so worried about you missing the coach Yuko-chan. I couldn’t possibly leave you alone with a boy, especially one in the year above…what would Zurui-kun think?” She purred arrogantly, placing a hand on my arm.

Zurui is still around?! I felt my veins freezing over as I stood rooted to the spot in terror. I knew my expression must have been one of pure horror, but I simply couldn’t recover. My legs started to shake and I felt like my lungs were shrinking by the second. I met Rin’s eyes, which looked confused, and just about managed to spit out “I have to go, sorry” before hightailing it back to the coach. 

I climbed nervously onto the coach, and tried to be as invisible as possible as I slowly worked my way past the rest of the team to hide at the back. I sat in the corner, and closed my eyes as I tried to calm my breathing. I could not process that Oshiro had just used Zurui as a threat against me. That meant that not only was he still living in town, but that she knew he was the main reason I left before, and that she could bring him into my life again. My legs would not stop shaking and my lungs burned. I hadn’t felt terror to this level in a long time, and it felt like I would never recover.

It only took a few minutes for Oshiro to arrive on the bus, and I was unsure if that was because she’d been too embarrassed to recover or if Rin had ended the conversation. I hoped it was the latter, but I wasn’t fully sure why. She scanned the bus and quickly her eyes set on me with a fiery scowl. She marched down the bus and grabbed me by the collar of my tshirt, lifting me from my seat. The entire team turned to watch, and I could feel the anxiety inside me spiralling out of control. Oshiro bought her face as close to mine as she could, and spoke in a deep, spiteful tone. “If you ever embarrass me like that again, I will literally drown you and make it look like an accident.” Her eyes burned with fury, and I could feel her clenched fist shaking in anger. She threw me back into my chair and yelled at the coach driver to go.

I spent the rest of the journey back to halls staring at my feet and shaking uncontrollably. I decided I needed to keep control of myself from now on, I couldn’t lash out again like I did today. I was terrified of the consequences.

***

For the next few weeks I was constantly harassed by girls at the Nishi Academy. I’d been managing to keep a low profile since returning, but now Oshiro was making it clear that I’d crossed a line with her. I accepted the verbal abuse and pushing without retaliation, keeping my eyes to the ground, and tried to instead focus on keeping myself on the swim team. 

Gou’s texts had become much more frequent since the practice, and it was obvious that she was trying to keep an eye on me. Conveniently, mum’s calls had increased too and I couldn’t help but feel irritated that Gou had sent any negative information back to her. I wanted to control the situation on my own, and did not like feeling so many people interfering. 

I spent more time in town and off school property in an effort to try to avoid the increased attention, and started practising at the gym pool again instead of the school pool with the team. Strangely, I noticed that I seemed to keep noticing Rin around, and was thankful that so far I had been able to avoid him spotting me. I couldn’t believe I was unlucky enough to keep bumping into him everywhere, but tried to remind myself that Iwatobi was a small town.

On the weekends, I kept myself busy off campus to avoid the swim team, and larger group of Oshiko’s friends. Gou texted every Friday to ask if I had plans, and invited me to what seemed like every type of outing she could think of. I knew it was unkind to continue avoiding her, but I wanted to be alone. Whenever I spent time with people, I would say or do something that caused trouble. I reluctantly remembered promising mum that I wouldn’t isolate myself, but I didn’t have a choice, at least until this Rin situation with Oshiko blew over.

It was a warm Saturday afternoon, and I spent the day in the town library studying. The school library had more course appropriate content, but I preferred to make do with the books that were here with the advantage of anonymity, and uninterrupted time. Or what would be uninterrupted if Gou would stop texting me for five minutes. I decided to switch off my phone for a while so I could concentrate.

When I next looked up from my books, it was to the voice of the librarian, who informed me that the library was closing and I was the last person she was waiting for to leave. I glanced up at the windows, and realised it was almost dark outside. I apologised profusely for keeping her, and began to gather my things. I was glad I had bought my swim jacket with me, as I didn’t think my outfit alone would be warm enough. I was wearing a simple black dress, black holdups and my black creepers. I slipped my swim jacket on top, a slight clash to the outfit underneath, but a good representation of my mismatched personality. I was momentarily amused by this thought, as I finished gathering my things and left the library.

I began the long walk back to halls nervously, watching as the last of the light slowly faded from view. I was glad for the well timed street lights, but felt very uncomfortable walking home at night alone. I scolded myself for losing track of time, I always usually ensured I was back in my room long before dark. I remembered that I had switched my phone off, which was likely why I hadn’t noticed the passing time, and hastily switched it back on. Whilst looking at the screen, I was tempted to call Gou so I at least had a reassuring voice to walk home to, but quickly thought better of it and stuffed my phone back in my pocket. It would only cause more trouble in the end, I didn’t need her to think I was worried about anything.

I walked quickly, willing myself to get home as fast as possible. I turned a corner and found myself facing 3 men walking toward me. I took a couple of deep breaths, and reminded myself that this was a small town in Japan, manners were a way of life and attacking a woman would be absolutely unacceptable. I stared at the floor as they got closer, if I could just avoid looking at them whilst they go past, hopefully they won't notice me. I felt the figures pass, and almost felt relieved before a voice from behind me called out. I recognised it immediately, and terror froze me to the spot.

“Yuko? Yuko, is that you?”

My legs trembled as I stood rooted to the spot, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Every instinct in my brain told me to run, run as fast as my legs could carry me, but fear would not allow me to move. In all of the situations I had pictured happening to me if I were to return here, this was my absolute worst fear. I had gone over it with my mum hundreds of times, and we’d talked about how unlikely it was to happen. But here I was, standing in the street in the dark, with Fujioka Zurui standing behind me.

It only took moments for him to get impatient with my lack of response, and to move around to face me. “It is you, I’d heard you were back in town but they didn’t mention you’d got so pretty...or weird.” He looked me up and down, and raised one eyebrow at me. The two guys with him snorted in laughter. “What, nothing to say to me after so many years?”

The trembling spread from my legs to my upper body and I couldn’t catch my breath. My brain was being overtaken by panic. I had imagined this situation so many times, in my mind I always ran, screamed, did something, but I couldn’t manage to do a thing. I became acutely aware of him staring at me, clearly expecting a response. I knew I had to speak if I didn’t want him to lash out, and so I forced out the first words I could think of. “Hi Fujioka-san.” I muttered, barely even audible.

He chuckled, but not in a genuine way like I’d said something funny. “Fujioka-san? Come on Yuko, it may have been years, but you don’t need to be so formal with me. After all, we were always so **close** as kids.” He looked me up and down again, and this time, just for a moment, I could see hunger in his eyes. I gulped deeply, and felt my heart pounding in my chest. I remembered being his “girlfriend” at school, it wasn’t like I had a choice in the matter. He was the reason I ran last time, and yet I couldn’t bring myself to run now, no matter how hard I willed myself to. He stepped closer to me. “You know, word on the street is you’re not doing so well here, again. I know you upset my good friend Oshiro with that sharp tongue of yours, and yet you’ve never used it on me...in any way.” His friends behind me snorted in agreement, and I could feel them moving closer too. “Such a shame, none of the girls like you, you have no friends this time, not even that little bitch you used to hang out with. And the guys...well, obviously they’re not interested in you, why would they be? A grungy little weirdo like you. I’m the only one who’ll ever show interest in you Yuko. You should just agree to be mine again.” He was moving gradually closer to me as he spoke, and I began to feel vomit rising in my throat. 

Before I could consider what I was doing, my arms flew up and I pushed him back. It wasn’t very forceful, it barely moved him at all, but it was enough to cause his eyes to widen. “No.” I tried to speak firmly, but my voice still barely came out at all.

“What did you just say?” He growled. “You think you can turn me down? I own our school! I’m the Captain of the track team bitch, I get what I want” He fumed as he got closer and grabbed my face, gripping tightly to my jaw. He took a deep breath, and calmed himself, returning to his previous voice that I can only assume was supposed to be seductive. My eyes grew huge as I realised he wasn’t lying, and they focused in on the Nishi track team jacket he was wearing. “I can protect you Yuko, just like before. If you’re with me, everyone else will leave you alone. You’ll be safe with me.”

“Safe from everyone but you.” I spat. A wave of anger flowed through me and I found myself acting without thinking. I guess the years of punchbags and kickboxing fitness classes were more deep rooted than I realised. I pushed him back again, this time with much more force, which caused him to lose his grip on my face. This time, when he tried to move closer again, I was prepared and landed a furious punch right on the bridge of his nose. 

Zurui was knocked back, and his face went white with shock. I dropped my bag, and fell into a fighting pose, holding my fists up. This ended tonight, I’d landed the first punch, all I had to show now was that I had no intention of backing down. I’d always been told that bullies were cowards, they thrived on power and couldn’t deal with people who stood up for themselves. Until now, I was always too afraid, but now that I’d acted, I just had to stand my ground and it would be over, right?

His rubbed his fist under his nose, and was stunned to find blood, although not as stunned as I was. The sight of the blood seemed to send him into a deep rage, and before I could react he leapt at me, sending me flying to the ground with a powerful hit to the face. I landed on my ass and almost fell flat onto my back, then held a hand over my eye and winced. My face throbbed with pain, and I could feel I was already in shock.

“You fucking bitch! How dare you take your hands to me?! I’ll teach you a fucking lesson about how to treat your betters!” Zurui fumed, reaching down and dragging me to my feet by collar so that he could hit me again. I fell to the floor with a cry. My mind still hadn’t recovered from the shock, and I couldn’t think at all. Zurui casually slipped his sports jacket off and paced around, as if preparing himself. 

A moment of clarity fell upon me, causing me to act rapidly. I sprung to my feet and turned on the spot, ready to run back in the direction I came. I only managed a step or two before one of the guys who had been standing behind me grabbed me by my jacket and thrust me back to the ground in front of Zurui. I slammed into the concrete, but barely noticed over the agonisingly loud ripping sound of my jacket. My eyes filled with tears, and I laid shaking in terror.

“Hold her.” Zurui spoke in a manner that was so cold and controlled, it sent shivers down my spine. He paced around, stretching himself as if preparing for the long haul. I could barely concentrate on even one of the thousands of panicked thoughts tearing through my mind, but I managed to discern one that was louder than the others: _I’m going to die here. _

The two behind me stepped forward, and without questioning, started to lift me up. They each took one of my arms and lifted me, not quite to a standing position, and held me in front of Zurui. He took great pleasure in looking down at me, held there unable to escape. He stretched out the time that he paced around, looking down at me and savouring the moment, before he pummelled me in stomach with such force that I was almost sick. I cried out but hardly any sound carried as I was winded. I wheezed desperately, tears streaming down my face.

Zurui smirked down at me, a sick expression of clear pleasure on his face. As he warmed for another hit, I scrunched my eyes closed in anticipation. But the next hit didn’t come, and I suddenly became aware of the sound of a struggle. I opened my eyes to see a blur of red and black, and no sign of Zurui. As I frantically looked around, I noticed the grip on me had loosened as one of the guys holding me let go, and I noticed Zurui crumpled up on the ground. I stared at him with an expression of pure confusion, before the other guy let go and I found myself being pulled by someone else. The stranger threw me behind them, and blocked me from view. I tried to calm myself enough to focus, and managed to recognise a Samezuka Academy sports jacket. 

I felt immediately calmed, and managed to drag myself to my feet. I needed to get a view of the situation, I could still be in danger. As I rose to standing, I was met with a full head of maroon, scruffy hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	3. Holding out for a hero

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed this and want me to write more, leave me a comment! Comments motivate me to work ;)

Time seemed to stand still as I pieced together the Samezuka sports jacket and maroon hair of the large male standing in front of me. The attacking group hadn’t quite recovered yet, and I had a moment to comprehend exactly who it was that had come to my rescue.

“Matsuoka-san?” I asked with uncertainty in my voice, not because I didn’t realise it was him, but because I couldn’t quite believe what I was seeing.  _ What the hell was Rin doing here? And why would he get himself involved in this? _

“Stay behind me Yuko!” He growled, glancing over his shoulder at me as he realised that I was back on my feet, and stepped back so that his back met my chest. He reached back one of his outstretched arms to meet my side, holding it over me protectively and held a defensive stance. I found myself staring at the side of his face in utter bewilderment. 

Before I could question him any further, my attention was snapped back to the situation at hand, as my attackers began to approach Rin and I. “Get your hands off my girl dickhead, we were having a private moment. This is nothing to do with you.” Zurui approached him in a relaxed, arrogant manner. He tried to keep his cool focus on Rin, but his eyes slipped to mine with a look of both absolute fury and hunger.

“Your girl?” Rin snarled, the level of anger in his voice shocking me. “Does she get any choice in that?”

Zurui laughed loudly in a crude, spiteful manner and the goonies behind him joined in. “What’s it to you? Did you forget your manners? You’ve no place in the dispute of a man and his woman.”

“A man? Funny, I don’t see one anywhere around here.” Rin smirked, somehow retaining his snarky nature despite the clear venom in his words.

Zurui looked momentarily furious, before regaining his arrogant posture. “I’m gonna let you have that one Samezuka, cuz you don’t seem to know who I am. I’m Fujioka Zurui,  **Captain** of the Nishi track team. You mess with me, I’ll destroy your life. Now get the fuck outta my face so I can get back to dealing with my bitch.”

I felt Rin twitch, and for a moment half expected him to fly at Zurui. If it were just the two of them, I might have let him, but I didn’t fancy our chances against all three, especially since Zurui had punched me in the stomach. Instead, I put a hand on Rin’s shoulder without thinking and squeezed gently. His breathing slowed and he seemed to regain control. At that moment, I met Zurui’s eyes and saw the fire behind them. 

“I don’t give a shit who you are, but you’re not getting to Yuko.” Rin spoke with a resolute tone, and I worried what standing up to this group would cost him. I knew I would do whatever it took to protect him, I couldn’t allow him to be punished for my mistakes, but I wasn’t sure I had much fight left in me tonight.

Zurui let out a wicked laugh. “There’s three of us man, you really think you can stop me?”

“I know I can.” Rin smirked confidently. “You ** really** want to take a chance that I’m wrong?”

The silence between them seemed to stretch on for an eternity as they stared each other down, the tension only growing by the second, before Zurui’s glare finally broke into a sadistic smile. “Fine, well done, you get to play the hero tonight. But you can’t protect her all the time.” He tore his eyes off Rin only to look over at me with a malice I had never seen. “I’ll see you around, Yuko.” He slowly started to saunter off, keeping his gaze fixed on me until he was out of sight.

Neither of us moved for a few moments, unsure whether to trust this retreat. We waited in tense silence for a sign of safety, until Rin finally relaxed his stance and I gasped, letting out a breath I didn’t even realise I had been holding.

Rin rounded on me, and as he did, I found my weight drop to the ground. I landed on my knees with a thud and Rin swiftly joined me, grabbing my shoulders as if to keep me from completely crumbling. “Yuko!” He held me shoulders gently, bringing his face down to meet my eye level as I panted for breath. “Yuko?! Are you alright? What can I do?!”

Before I could stop it, tears poured out and streamed down my face, and I found myself hyperventilating. I had irrevocably descended into panic and although I battled for control, I was unable to stop myself from spiralling. I felt like my head was going to explode, and I longed for the peace that shock had given me until now. 

Rin watched me with concern, and without warning pulled me into his chest, tucking my head under his chin. He bought his arms around me to close me in, wrapping one around my back and placing the other hand on the back of my head. He stroked my hair soothingly, and the heat of his body slowly warmed me. I lost track of how long we sat like this in comfortable silence, but he made no effort to fidget or get away, allowing me all the time I needed to compose myself. I was amazed to see him behave in such a gentle manner, especially when he had just been on the verge of losing control. It struck me how selflessly he was behaving, and this seemed to be the last step in shaking some sense into me. He waited until I was ready to move, and as I slowly sat back, he released his grip on me with no resistance. I looked up at him in confusion, and watched through watery eyes as he smiled reassuringly back. “I’m sorry to invade your space like that, I didn’t know what else to do. It’s how I used to calm Gou down.” He explained calmly.  _ Oh, it’s how he cared for his little sister.  _ “Yuko, what was that?”

“What?” I answered with wide eyes.  _ What was what? Oh god does he realise I thought it was more?! _

For the first time, I caught a glimpse of annoyance in his expression, but it passed too quickly to question. “ **That** . Back there, with those idiots.”

I sighed deeply, before starting to get to my feet. “Oh, it was nothing.” Now that the panic had stopped, my mind was whirring at 100 miles an hour on logical thoughts. I couldn’t even comprehend the trouble that Rin had just gotten himself into by stepping in to defend me, and I needed to damage control before he involved himself any further.

Rin quickly followed me to my feet, still maintaining eye contact and an expectant expression. He seemed to be making it clear that he wasn’t going anywhere. “You’re kidding right? They were holding you for him! You’re not going to tell me that was nothing.”

I tried again to brush him off, distracted by the feeling of my jacket sliding down. As I fiddled with it, it slipped completely off me, landing in a torn pile on the ground. I looked down at it, for the first time realising the extent of the damage. It was destroyed. I barely noticed that I was still shivering, but Rin clearly had.

Without a word, he slipped off his Samezuka jacket and threw it around my shoulders. It was huge, and hung awkwardly off my petite shoulders. I shuffled uncomfortably on the spot, unsure how to respond to his kindness. Although I was enjoying the warmth it had carried from him, I also felt undeserving of this kind of affection, and it left me confused and nervous.

“Yuko, I want you to know you can talk to me.” My eyes darted up to meet his, and he placed a hand gently on my shoulder. “Any time.” He stared into my eyes intensely, awaiting an answer and so I slowly nodded back. He sighed deeply, seeming to be thinking carefully about his next words. “If you tell me what’s going on, I can stop it for good. You’ll finally be safe. I can protect you.” 

Although I could feel his words were heartfelt and genuine, I felt my heart beginning to hammer as he spoke. My legs shook, and I felt panic setting in again. It took a moment for me to realise what was causing it, before I saw flashes on Zurui in my mind and made the connection. Their words were almost exactly the same, and although I felt no malicious intent when Rin spoke them, I still felt they were nothing but empty promises. Zurui sought to use protecting me for his own benefit, whereas Rin would only suffer from protecting me. I realised in that moment that whatever the motivation, no one would ever be able to protect me.

My body moved before I could finish my train of thought and in pure instinct, I pushed his jacket back to his chest, pushing him back in the same movement.

“I don’t need your protection.” A voice spat, and there was a momentary delay before I realised it was my own. A wave of guilt washed over me as Rin’s shocked face stared back, but the desperate need to keep him out of harm from me overruled any desire to protect his feelings. “I can look after myself. Stop following me.” I spoke with conviction, even as terror gripped me and apologetic tears threatened to escape. I turned on my heel, and ran from him before I could change my mind, leaving him shocked to the spot.

***

I spent the night attempting to sleep through a mixture of panic attacks and night terrors filled with horrors I’d never imagined I could dream up. I wasn’t sure if I had managed to sleep at all, and when daylight finally broke, I remained in bed, staring at the ceiling. I stayed this way for as long as I could stand, before dragging myself over to the bathroom when I could ignore my bladder no longer. Once in the bathroom, I made the mistake of glancing over at the mirror, only to find a bruised, swollen mess staring back at me. 

This sight bought on another overflow of tears, despite feeling that I must have already cried out all the moisture in my body. My left eye was fortunately still able to stay open, and blink as normal, but was surrounded by a colourful pattern of dark bruising. I’d only noticed now that my lip had been split, which would explain why it had stung all night, leaving another small patch of bruising. I sighed, immediately followed by a wince as a sharp pain cut across my ribs. I slowly slid up my shirt only to be met by bruising that covered an entire side of my rib cage. I gasped, which caused an intense pain and cried out. 

Although every instinct told me to hide out in my room for the day, I knew I would need medical supplies if I planned on recovering at any decent speed. I cursed the idea that I may need a break from swimming, and so decided to make my way to the campus shop for some painkillers and ointments. It was a Sunday, so I hoped the campus would be relatively empty. Even so, I brushed out my hair so the front layers covered at least some of my face, and put a baseball cap on top. For once, I dressed in a plain tshirt and jeans, attempting to look as normal as possible. I didn’t bother with any makeup, as I hoped not to aggravate the injuries.

I stepped out of my room and closed the door as quietly as possible, careful to not even alert those living in my dorms to my movement. I managed to walk through campus without drawing too much attention, noticing that it was generally quiet as I’d hoped. As I turned a corner into the main courtyard of our school site, I noticed a large group of girls hanging out nearby. I quickly looked down at my feet as I walked, hoping the brim of the cap would be enough to hide my face. It seemed to be working, and as I got closer, I could hear them gossiping, before it dropped to whispers. I chanced a brief look up, only to see that a girl had separated from the group, and was heading towards me with a snarky expression, as the rest of the group watched with a look of amusement. I felt my heart speed up as I changed direction slightly in the hope of avoiding her.

I glanced over again only to notice that she had stopped in her tracks, and the smirk had quickly changed to a look of bemusement. As this sunk in, I became aware of a presence beside me and whipped my face around to be met with a muscular chest. I was startled and jumped back, as I rapidly bought my gaze up to the face of the towering man beside me, I immediately recognised him as Yamazaki Sosuke.

He looked down at me with an irritated expression, and I stared back at him in shock. “Yamazaki-san?!” 

“Mori-san.” He continued to stare at me in a bored fashion, crossing his arms across his chest. I stood my ground for a moment, staring him down with an expectant expression, but his manner did not falter.

“What are you doing here?” I exclaimed. 

“I got lost.” His voice carried a tone that showed his disinterest in his own lie, and I began to expect that he didn’t particularly care for whatever he’d come here to do.

“Really? And you just so happened to end up here, bumping into me, after not seeing me for years? That’s a hell of a coincidence.” I raised an eyebrow and stared at him suspiciously. 

He sighed in a frustrated manner. It seemed it hadn’t taken me long to annoy him. “I’m checking on you.”

I rolled my eyes and grunted in annoyance. “I’m fine, go away.” I crossed my arms in a show of defiance. When he ignored me, I sighed deeply and shifted my posture into an impatient stance. 

“I’m not here to check for myself. Rin asked me to keep an eye on you today.” I could feel his disapproval with this request as he spoke. I hissed and stamped my foot involuntarily.

“Damn it, I’m fine. I don’t need your help, or his.” 

“Looks like it, considering your face almost blends in with your hair. You want to tell me how it got all busted?” This time, as his gaze fell on my face, I could feel the intensity in his stare. 

I shifted uncomfortably for a moment, before deciding I didn’t need to tell him anything. Without a word, I promptly turned on my heel and stormed away from him. Due to the ridiculous difference in height between us, it barely took him a moment to catch up to me and he continued following silently at my side. “What are you doing?! I told you to leave me alone!” Despite my protests, he completely ignored me, and stuck to my side. 

We walked in an awkward, frustrated silence for a while and I noticed several others notice me and shrink away when they saw Sosuke. I hated feeling like I was being babysat, but I couldn’t help but appreciate that I could at least get to the shop safely now. Not that I would ever admit that.

“Where are we going?” Sosuke spoke in his usual, disinterested manner.

“I need some supplies.” I decided not to elude, I didn’t want to start him asking questions that I couldn’t answer. He looked at me suspiciously, but accepted it none the less.

I stepped into the small campus shop and headed straight for the till. I was relieved to see the usual lady working, as I knew she was able to sell medication from the cabinet. I approached nervously, tugging at my cap in the hope to cover some of the bruising. I cleared my throat, and looked over my shoulder to check where Sosuke was. Fortunately, he was lurking at the back of the shop, and I realised with a smirk that he thought I was getting “women's supplies”.

“What can I get for you dear?” The elderly woman behind the till smiled at me kindly, and I was reminded of the task at hand. 

“Good morning. Could I get some painkillers, the strongest you can sell without a prescription, and an antiseptic ointment please?” I tried to sound confident when I spoke, but also kept my voice low so that Sosuke wouldn’t hear.

The woman leaned further down suspiciously, and her eyes widened substantially when she noticed the bruising on my face. She looked quickly from me, to Sosuke, lurking in the back of the shop, and her face turned stern. I gulped as I realised her train of thought. “I’m sorry but I can’t. You’re on the swimming team isn’t that right?” She paused for a moment, and sighed deeply. “You’re clearly injured, I’m afraid I will need to report this to your club advisor. They will administer any medication you need with the school nurse.” She looked at me sympathetically, before glaring daggers at Sosuke. 

I rushed out of the store, feeling completely humiliated, and Sosuke followed closely behind, looking utterly perplexed with the shopkeepers glower. The moment we were out of the shop, he turned to question me. “What was that about?”

“I need to visit my club advisor. You can go home, I’m fine.” I looked desperately at him, I didn’t want him to report my visit with the school nurse back to Rin.

He sighed deeply, and shifted irritably. “Lead the way.”

I cursed internally, before reluctantly making my way to the administration building with Sosuke in tow.

***

I sat awkwardly in the nurses office, awaiting the arrival of the teacher responsible for the swim team. I was horrified that the nurse had allowed Sosuke to accompany me into the room, and he waited just outside the drawn curtain, in perfect hearing distance. The curtain briefly slid open for my teacher to step in, who gasped when she saw me. The nurse had forced me to remove my cap, and so I sat with my beaten face completely exposed.

“Thank goodness you’re here Tanaka-sensei!” The nurse exclaimed, looking genuinely relieved to see her. “We need to talk about Mori-san.”

“Mori-san, what on Earth happened to you?!” Tanaka approached me gently, and I tried to avoid her gaze as I answered.

“I got over excited during my workout, the punchbag hit me back.” I lied through my teeth, begging to just be left alone.

Tanaka looked sympathetic, but unsure of what to do. “ What did she come in for?” She asked the nurse.

“She has asked for pain relief. She was denied sale, with a report coming to you.” 

Tanaka nodded understandingly, and I realised this was not the first time this has happened. I wondered what happened to a team in the past for this to become school policy. “Mori-san, this is strong relief that you are asking for, are you sure this is just for your face?” I nodded over enthusiastically, and Tanaka sighed. “I can authorise a short prescription, one week to help with the discomfort while it starts to heal, but if you need any more after that we will need to have a serious chat.” She looked at me with pity, and I willingly accepted it, alongside the pain relief and ointment I was seeking. 

I rushed out of the office to find Sosuke waiting on the other side of the curtain. He startled me, and as I jumped, I winced at the pain in my ribs. Sosuke noticed it, but when I met his eyes with a look of pure horror, he didn’t say anything.

We left the nurses office and walked most of the way back to my dorm in silence. As we neared the entrance, Sosuke cleared his throat. “You planning on telling me what that was about?”

I sighed in frustration. “In case you hadn’t worked it out, the pretty black and blue colouring on face is kind of painful. I need to treat it so I can get back in the pool.”

“And how do you think that’s going to work when you haven’t told them you’re hurt?” He stared me down, and I quickly looked away.

“What do you want me to say?! I didn’t tell them I’m injured because then they would bench me, and swimming is about all that’s keeping me going right now. I can’t lose this.” The words spilled out of me before I could stop them, and after my outburst, I stood awkwardly staring at my feet. Sosuke was silent too, seeming to be lost in thought. “So, are you going to rat me out?” I asked, shuffling my feet.

“No.” He sighed. “I know what it’s like to deal with an injury, the threat it holds over you.” He looked away from me, trying to hide his vulnerability. “Just...don’t overdo it, know your limits. And be sensible.” I nodded in agreement, and a few moments of silence passed. “Fine, your secret is safe with me.”

I let out a relieved breath. “Thank you Yamazaki-san.”

“Don’t call me that, I hate it.” He grumbled. “It’s Sosuke.”

“Sorry. You can really go now Sosuke, I’m just going to spend the day dosing up and napping. I don’t need a babysitter.”

He watched me start to unlock the door to my dorm, and looked uncomfortable at the idea of having to follow me in there. “Fine, don’t do anything stupid.” Without another word, he turned and left me alone at last. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	4. Never Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed this and want me to write more, leave me a comment! Comments motivate me to work ;)

I spent most of the day in bed, dosing up on painkillers and allowing myself to rest. By the time morning came around, I finally started to feel like I had slept it off. I hobbled around the room, struggling to get myself dressed into my swim kit and pack my bag for the day. I knew that if I could just get through the morning practice session, it would buy me enough time to heal before the next event, and no one would be any the wiser about my ribs. I did most of my practice in the town pool anyway, so as long as I could keep up during team meetings, I could keep control of the situation.

I stepped out of my room, locking the door behind me and jolted at the sight of someone waiting for me. I managed to hold in the hiss of pain from my ribs as I recovered from the shock of their presence. A tall man with flaming red hair waved his arms apologetically.

“Oh, I’m sorry! I’m really sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you!”

I glared at him, glancing down at his Samezuka Academy sports jacket and huffing in annoyance. “I don’t care who you are, or what Matsuoka-san told you, I don’t need a bodyguard. Go away.” I turned on my heel and started to storm off, but he quickly matched my pace.

“I know you don’t, and I’m not here as one. I’m Mikoshiba Seijuro, Captain of Samezuka’s swim team.” He beamed proudly, but tried to look casual.  _ The Captain? Rin sent the god damn  _ ** _Captain_ ** _ of the team to watch over me?! Just how much trouble is he trying to get into?! “ _ I’ve been planning on checking out the rival school facilities for a while, Rin said he knew someone at Nishi that could help me out.” Seijuro was overflowing with enthusiasm when spoke, and I could tell that he was one of those frustratingly passionate people. 

I raised a suspicious eyebrow at him, and I could feel him being to squirm under my quizzical expression. “Really? And out of all the other rival schools, you just happened to time your visit to this one with our practice? We aren’t even your top competitor?”

“Well, I had a free morning and I’ve already been to Iwatobi. Besides, from what I’ve heard of your times, Nishi will be catching us up pretty soon this season.” His swung his arm enthusiastically before bringing it to a sudden halt just before my back. He then tried to smoothly bring his hand to nervously rub the back of his neck instead, as if that had always been his intention. I got the distinct feeling he was about to give me an encouraging pat on the back, and could feel my patience running thin with him already.

“You realise they’re never going to let you in to see the facilities whilst the girls team are training...pervert.” I stared him down accusingly and his confident facade withered within a moment.

“No, no! It’s not like that! I told you I didn’t know there was practice today, I just have a morning off!” He flapped his arms around dramatically, and I rolled my eyes. He sighed in an over the top fashion, drooping his arms, before forcing himself back into his confident act. “That’s fine, I’ll walk you to practice and wait until you’re done.”

“I don’t need you to walk me anywhere, I’m fine.”

“Well, could you walk me to the pool then? This is my first time on Nishi campus, I have no idea where I’m going!” He looks at me with an exaggerated pleading expression, causing me to roll my eyes and sigh deeply.

“Come on!” I hiss in exasperation, leading him across the campus. When I reach the pool, I hurry in without another word to him, leaving him awkwardly standing outside.

I arrive early with plenty of time to change, which is a relief as it takes much longer to manoeuvre into the swimming costume than usual, and leaves me time to ensure that all signs of injury are well covered. I enter the pool area nervously, finding my tea, already gathered and working on stretches, which I already know I’m unable to do. I wait for anyone to be the first into the water, desperately trying not to draw attention to myself whilst I fiddle with my swim cap and goggles.

Once a few members of the pool are in doing their warm up laps, I gently sink myself into the water. I float for a few moments, getting a feel for my movement ability. I’m not concerned about training, I know that I have time to improve before the next event, but I need to look like I’m still practising as normal if I don’t want to get benched. I test some arm movements, realising quickly that butterfly is utterly out of the question. I could maybe manage front crawl at a push, but I want to keep it leisurely for today. 

I line myself up with the end of the pool, and set myself off in a gentle breast stroke. Immediately, my ribs cry out and I gasp for air. Somehow I manage to limit my reaction, but on the inside I’m screaming. Every movement is a struggle right to the other end and when I finally reach it, I’m panting wildly. I grip the edge of the pool for dear life, as I try to catch my breath. 

At that moment, I notice Tanaka chatting with Captain Oshiro, and they both glance over in my direction. I feel myself start to panic as they move towards me, and my heart skips a beat at the wicked look in Oshiro’s eyes. When they reach me, Tanaka leans down to the water empathetically, whilst Oshiro stays standing, looking down on me with an air of disdain. 

“Mori-san, are you feeling okay?” Tanaka speaks gently, meeting my avoidant eyes with a concerned smile.

“I’m fine.” I manage to force out between breaths.

He looks sceptical, before returning to concerned. “It’s just...Captain Oshiro has raised some concerns that your performance seems slightly hindered. If we were to combine that with the bruising and your visit to me yesterday, which I am obliged to share with your Captain, it does leave some cause for concern.”

“Concerns such as what?” I spat.

Tanaka appeared taken aback by my tone, and stared at me in confusion. “I’m sorry?”

“What concerns has my  **Captain** raised?”

Tanaka seems utterly shocked by my contempt with the word Captain, and takes a moment to compose himself before speaking. “Well, umm...apparently you did not dive into the pool which is, umm…”

“You used the steps Mori-san, I’ve never seen you do that. And your time is slow, your stroke messy, it’s so unlike you. I’m very worried.” Oshiro busted forward, interrupting with her forced concern which didn’t reach her eyes.

“I’ve only just got in, I’m warming up.”

Tanaka looks doubtful for a moment, glancing over at Tanaka, but she isn’t ready to drop this yet.

“Well of course, it’s just so different from your usual routine. Why don’t you swim a length for Tanaka-sensei, so we can both judge your movements?” Her mock concern is already getting under skin, and I find myself struggling to stay calm.

“Sure, not a problem.” I turn and curse once I have my back to them, and get myself into position for breaststroke again.

“Oh, Mori-san, I’ve already seen you do breaststroke this morning. Why don’t you show us your butterfly stroke, that would really show us what great condition you’re in!” I could feel Oshiro’s taunting expression without even needing to look at her, but I turned anyway, trying my hardest to keep an authentically unfazed attitude.

“I would love to show Tanaka-sensei that, but unfortunately I haven’t completed my warm up yet, and I wouldn’t want to cause myself an injury. I’m sure you wouldn’t want that either Captain.”

Oshiro’s mask of arrogance slipped for a moment, and I was able to see a glint of frustration before she quickly pulled it back up. “Front crawl then.” She spat, before quickly remembering that Tanaka was still here and forcing a smile. I did my best to force one back, before turning away from them again.

I felt my heart hammering, there was no way I could get out of doing this, but I was terrified that my sloppy front crawl was about to give me away. I leant against the side of the pool for a while, preparing to start but could feel the anxiety building in my chest. I stayed frozen there, willing myself to move.

“Well?” Oshiro’s irritated voice snapped me out of my panic, and I launched myself out into front crawl.

In a moment, I knew I had made a mistake. I had used far too much energy in the launch, and my ribs burned. Every stroke of my arms felt like it tore open my chest, and every kick seemed to stretch out my body like some ancient torture device. I floundered in the water, fighting for control of my suffering body, and before I knew it, I found myself gasping for air too. My feet slammed on the bottom of the pool and I tore my upper body out of the water, clutching my ribs. In my gut, I knew it was over.

***

I sat in the swim team office shaking under a thick towel, my wet hair soaking through my swim uniform. Tanaka had asked me to exit the pool and get changed, before leading me here. He’d been gone a while, and I sat in panicked silence, waiting for whatever came next. The door clicked open, and I knew my fate was sealed the moment I recognised the sympathetic face of our school nurse. She locked the door behind her, and approached my nervously.

“Good morning Mori-san. I’m sure you know why I’m here.” She spoke gently, and I could tell this was a conversation she’d rather not be having. I didn’t answer her, instead continuing to stare at the floor. “Tanaka-sensei reported that you were displaying symptoms of an injury at practice this morning.”

She smiled supportively, and awaited a response, perhaps giving me a chance to tell her myself, but I had no intention of doing that. I didn’t want to talk about it, and they couldn’t force me. She sighed deeply in disappointment. “Mori-san, I’m sorry to ask, but I need you to lift up your shirt.” I felt like I might vomit. The panic spread through my body rapidly, as it dawned on me that I had found myself in another intrusive situation that I was powerless to stop. I sighed, realising there was nothing I could do to stop the chain of events that had started, and reluctantly lifted my shirt. The nurse gasped, and I couldn’t meet her eyes.

“What happened?!” She exclaimed, but I continued to ignore her. “I...I…” She stuttered nervously, and I could feel her discomfort. “I need to examine you...may I touch the area?” I nodded, but still didn’t look in her direction. She gently placed a flat hand on my ribs, and although I winced, I did my best to not appear in pain. She gently pressed around the area at the edges of my bruising, and I felt my breathing deepen. She gradually moved into the centre, and pressed down on my ribs, causing a scream of pain to escape my lips. She jumped back in shock, and apologised profusely, whilst I cursed under my breath. “I’m sorry, I need to just feel whether anything seems...out of place. This will likely hurt.” 

I gritted my teeth and prepared myself, but as she started to feel around, I cried out again. I struggled to keep my reactions under control but at least managed to not scream as much as the first time. The nurse pushed around several of my ribs, trying to get a feel along each of those that was causing pain. Tears ran freely down my cheeks, and after what felt like an eternity, she stepped back with a horrified look. She opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a knock on the door. She quickly stepped forward to pull down my top and zip up my sports jacket, before rushing over to open the door. Tanaka entered the room with an expression of deep concern. 

“Well, what’s the verdict on our star swimmer?” He tried to smile encouragingly, but I kept my stoic stare.

The nurse looked immensely uncomfortable, seeming to struggle for words. “Mori-san’s ribs are fractured, if not broken. She will need to visit a hospital to confirm,  **today** .” She looked over at me reluctantly, taking a deep breath before continuing. “She’ll be out of the pool for 6 weeks, at least.”

“ ** _Six weeks?!_ ** ” My voice flew out before I could stop it, and the desperation in it hung from the air. “I can’t be out for that long, I can swim!”

“Mori-san, I understand how important it is for you to take part in events, especially at your age. You’re all looking to get scouted. But your health is the most important thing. There will be other events, you’ll have your chance-” Tanaka tried to be comforting, but I jumped to my feet and started to gather my things to leave. “We will need a note from the hospital to verify your visit, and their recommendation on when you can swim again. You can’t avoid going. If you’re that keen to get back to swimming, I recommend you go to the hospital today, as our nurse has advised. I’m sorry.” 

I felt like a knife had pierced my chest, and tore out of the room as swiftly as I could. I rushed past the pool, desperate to get out before the tears escaped my eyes, and as I glanced up, I caught sight of Oshiro’s victorious smirk. I pushed through the last door and almost walked straight into Seijuro, who was eagerly waiting. When he saw me, his face dropped.

“That wasn’t long, you didn’t even dry your hair...are you okay?” His words flooded out in a jumbled mess, and his expression seemed to pass through a variety of emotions at high speed.

“No! I’m not okay, and I’m sick of you following me around. I don’t care what you’ve been asked to do, leave me alone!” The anger poured out of me, and I didn’t seem to be able to control who it spurted at. I pushed past him and left him in stunned silence. 

***

By the time I left the hospital it was dusk. I was clutching a note which stated I would not be able to swim for 6 weeks, where I would be reviewed and possibly given a longer recovery period. I trembled with frustration and anxiety, and started intently at the note, wondering what to do now that Oshiro had finally won. In the hours I had sat in the hospital waiting room, I’d realised that if I got benched now, this would be the end. She would have Zurui beat me as many times as it took for me to quit. Now I had to decide, whether I take the beatings and hope that she caves before Zurui beats me to death, or whether I leave Iwatobi for good and try again to start anew.

“Yuko?”

A familiar voice pulled me from my thoughts, and I found myself face to face with one of my strongest influences to stay; Rin. He appeared sheepish, but was trying to cover it with false confidence. 

“Matsuoka-san. Finally decided to stalk me yourself?” I jabbed, annoyance seeping through my words.

He shifted awkwardly. “I’m not stalking you. You told me to stop following you, I admit that I was. I felt like you weren’t honest with me about the bullying, I wanted to see if it was still going on.” He sighed. “I asked some friends to check in on you, make sure that creep got the message. I swear I’m not stalking you, or getting my friends to do it for me.”

“Then what are you doing here?”

“Seijuro spoke to your coach, he said he sent you to the hospital. I was worried you might have got jumped again...I thought you could use a friend.” The way in which he spoke at least seemed authentic, and he waited for my response. My eyes grazed over him, he wasn’t in sports gear this time and I couldn’t help a little flutter from my heart; it was my first time seeing him in casual wear since we were kids. He wore a grey ripped vest top, black hoodie, black jeans and red high top trainers. I was entertained to notice that he had taken the time to add jewellery, dog tags around his neck and an array of bracelets on each wrist. A silver chain hung from his red belt into his jean pocket, and he had oversized red headphones around his neck. For some reason, he wore his hood up and I realised I felt disappointed not to be able to properly see his glinting maroon hair.

“They haven’t had a chance to jump me again, not with all your stalker support. Plus, they don’t need to, they achieved everything they wanted to with the first.” I spat, waving the note at him.

“What happened?” He stepped forward, a look of concern flashing across his otherwise concerned face.

“Zurui fractured two of my ribs. They benched me for 6 weeks, then they’ll review if I can swim again. I’m done, they finally got me out.” As I spoke, I lifted my t-shirt to show the bruising which seemed to only get darker by the day. Rin’s eyes flew wide in shock, before his face creased into an expression of absolute fury. He looked as though he could scream, and as I pulled back down my shirt, his eyes met mine. 

“It’s not over. We’ll stop this, and we’ll get you back into the pool-”

“Who will? You and your stalker association? This is ridiculous! I exclaimed, feeling my frustration rising. “What’s your goal here? Why are you doing this?!”

“Because it’s the right thing to do.” Rin answered me calmly, his eyes never wondering from mine.

“Great, I’m some noble cause for you. How much are you and your friends willing to risk for  _ the greater fucking good _ ?”

“Whatever it takes.” He still spoke evenly, and with resolve.

I scoffed. “This could cost you everything. Just stop!” I yelled, without meaning to. I couldn’t tell where the anger was coming from, and I still felt powerless to stop it. I knew there was a deep seated fear inside of me, that this was some kind of trick, or there would be a cost at the end of it that would destroy me. But the worst fear of all was that he would realise, like everyone else seemed to, that I wasn’t worth the time, and he would leave. “Stop destroying your life for me, please.” I whispered.

“The only life being destroyed is yours Yuko, and I can’t stand by and watch it happen any more. I’m gonna end this. You don’t have to thank me for it, just get used to the idea and stop fighting me every step of the way.” He smiled confidently, and I sighed in defeat. 

“I’m going home.” I muttered, walking towards him. 

“I’ll walk you back.”

“Fine.” I conceded, and he fell naturally into step with me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	5. Rumours and misunderstandings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's my birthday, and I thought what better way to celebrate than to spend some time writing about my favourite boy, enjoy! <3
> 
> If you enjoyed this and want me to write more, leave me a comment! Comments motivate me to work ;)

The next morning, I stepped out of my dorm to find Sosuke waiting for me, and sighed in disappointment. After my accidental heart to heart with Rin last night, I thought he had understood that he needed to stop. It was exhausting keeping my guard up with them, alongside everyone else. 

“Guess you’re my security detail today.” I sighed as I locked my room behind me. I turned to face Sosuke who nodded disinterestedly. “Great. Just how many classes are you missing to ‘keep an eye on me’ exactly?” I spoke as I walked, not even bothering to tell him not to follow me today. After what Rin said last night, I shouldn’t even be surprised to find Sosuke here, he made it quite clear that he planned to stop what was happening to me at any cost.

“None, I’ve got a free period this morning and the pools closed for cleaning.” He spoke so casually it was almost convincing.

“And you’re choosing to spend your free morning following me around?” I scrutinised his face as I posed the question. He didn’t seem at all fazed, he was much harder to catch than Seijuro. 

“Rin told me about your ribs.” He spoke with the same balanced tone as usual, but I could feel the comforting intention behind his words.

“Christ, gossip spreads around Samezuka even faster than Nishi. You’d never know it was an all boys school.” I rolled my eyes, but wasn’t especially shocked.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry you got benched. I know what it’s like to have an injury, it’s like a time bomb, threatening to blow up your future.” I was taken aback by the honesty in his words, and as my attention snapped to his face, I realised he was avoiding my gaze. “Stick with it, it’s not over until you give up.”

His words rang in my mind, and stayed with me for the rest of the walk to the main building. I was comfortable in silence with Sosuke, and although he had always been intimidating and cold to most, I could see him as reflective and considerate. Whilst growing up, he was one of the few who never judged me, and treated me like any other competitor. I felt like I always knew where I stood with him, everyone was on equal ground in his eyes. He dropped me at the main doors, and left without any fuss. Unlike Seijuro, he didn’t feel the need to lie about why he was here, or pretend that he wouldn’t wait for me, or hand me over to someone else. I smiled softly whilst he wasn’t looking, thankful for his non-intrusive company.

I made my way into the classroom and headed towards the back. I could feel the eyes of the other students on me from the moment I entered the room, and focused my gaze on my feet. I settled into my desk and pulled out my books, immediately sticking my face into one as a shield against the other students. It wasn’t long before the whispering carried over in my direction.

“That’s her! The one sleeping with Samezuka’s team!”

“Really,  _ her _ ?! Well, she aint all that, I couldn’t see her getting more than one guy interested!”

“Apparently she’s whoring herself out in exchange for training with them. Of course they’re lapping it up, why wouldn’t they when she makes it that easy!”

“No way!”

“I’ve seen her with three different Samezuka guys  _ on campus _ , they’re always around her, like dogs in heat!”

A mixture of giggles and disgusted sounds filled the room, and I could feel my face flushing behind the book. My hands were shaking and I couldn’t read with the movement of the pages. Adrenaline coursed through my veins and my heartbeat grew rapid. I could feel myself growing short of breath as the class continued to gossip, and I leapt to my feet, rushing out of the room before the class began and I was trapped with them.

As I turned out of the doorway, I was violently pushed back, hissing in pain. I came face to face with Oshiro, who had bumped her shoulder into mine with as much force as she could manage whilst trying to look casual. I reflexively reached for my ribs, and watched a wicked smile spread across her satisfied face.

“Oops, my mistake Mori-san, I forgot you were so  _ fragile _ !” She giggled. “Such a shame you won’t be swimming with us for a while, so silly of you to go and get an injury! It’s a relief you’ve got so many strong men around now to keep you from getting hurt…” She trailed off and paused, before smirking and practically purring in enjoyment as she continued “...it’s just unfortunate that they can’t keep an eye on you in school. It would be just awful if you were to get hurt again before you could return to the team.”

I stood paralysed in the hall, my panic only continuing to spiral at the sugar coated threats Oshiro made. I silently cried out for help, wishing someone would witness it, but Oshiro had perfected her friendly mannerisms and soft voice. If anyone were to hear anything as they passed, it would sound like a Captain checking in. I felt tears threatening to overspill, and rushed past her to the exit. 

I hurried every step back to my halls, and for once was disappointed to not find a member of Samezuka Academy waiting for me, even if it would only worsen the rumours. I frantically struggled with my keys as I tried to unlock the door, and as soon as I had managed to enter the room and lock the door behind me, I collapsed into a crumpled heap against it. Even with everything she had done to me, I refused to let her see me cry. Now that I was in my own space, I sat and wept until I ran out of breath.

***

Over the next few weeks, the rumours only worsened. Other students now openly discussed how I’d been removed from the swim team due to the risk that I would spread STI’s in the water, and how Zurui had been devastated to find out what I was doing, without even having the decency to break up with him first. The Samezuka team still regularly turned up to check on me, but I barely left my room and was missing most of my classes. Whenever I did attempt to attend a day of school, I would only manage the first class, where I’d hear the latest rumours first hand, and other girls had taken to harassing me in the halls. I was called a whore, skank, and every other variety they could think of, both for hurting poor Zurui, and for infecting the Samezuka boys, who were obviously out of my league. 

This morning, I had received a call from the school faculty, asking that I attend for an appointment with my homeroom teacher to discuss my truancy. I made little effort to dress well, or fix my hair. I glanced in the mirror quickly, and was relieved to see that my facial bruising was almost completely gone, leaving only a yellow greenish tinge in it’s place.

I stepped out of my room, and was shaken to find that there wasn’t anyone from Samezuka waiting for me. I sighed deeply, and tried to mentally prepare myself to make the walk alone. I couldn’t blame them for not being here, my schedule had become slightly erratic lately, and I had no idea how many times they had turned up to find me refusing to leave my room. They probably didn’t expect me to venture outside any time soon. The faculty building wasn’t far from halls, and classes were in session, I could probably creep my way there without any notice from other students.

I set off at a frantic pace, keeping my mind set on my goal. From what I noticed of my surroundings, the campus was mostly empty, and I breathed a brief sigh of relief. I turned a corner into the main courtyard and bounced off the chest of a tall man. As I regained my balance, I bought my eyes up and felt all of the colour drain from my face.

“Well well, it lives.” Zurui’s cruel smile filled my vision, and although I stood pinned to the spot in terror, my eyes darted around the courtyard in search of anyone I could cry out to. Unfortunately, my plan had backfired and there wasn’t a soul in sight. I felt my legs trembling, and my stomach churned. A wave of nausea hit me and I struggled to temper the panic that bubbled inside of me. “I told you I’d see you again Yuko, don’t look so shocked. I’ve been waiting for you to leave your hidey hole.”

He stepped closer to me, and although every instinct in my body screamed to run, I couldn’t bring myself to move a muscle. I felt captive inside my own body. “Don’t think I’ve forgotten our unfinished business my dear, it’s been so hard waiting to get you alone. Our time together seems to be constantly interrupted by those interfering pricks from the academy.” He reaches out to put a gentle hand on my cheek, and I flinch so hard that I frighten myself. He looks visibly annoyed, and grips my cheek tightly. “Especially that presumptuous bastard Matsuoka, thinking he can just stroll in and take you from me.”

He squeezes my face as he rants. The pain pulls me from my trance, and I feel anger flare in my chest at the use of Rin’s name. A sudden bolt of daring floods through me and my arm shoots up to knock his hand from my face. “Don’t touch me.” I spit.

Zurui looks momentarily shocked, before throwing his head back in a wicked laugh. “Oh Yuko, what nonsense has that arrogant shit been spewing about me to get you so worked up? Surely you know he’s just toying with you, keeping you around for entertainment! It’s all in the thrill of the chase!” He grins deeply, eyeing me with equal measures of hunger and disgust. “I’ve heard about him you know, all that praise, men like him get filled with their own self importance. He only wants you because you’re mine, he wants the victory of taking you from another man. Once you give him what he wants, he’ll drop you like the trash you are.” I start to shake again, and clench my fists, but this time it’s not caused by anxiety or fear. Instead, it’s pure, unbridled fury. I take a few deep breaths in an effort to keep maintain control, and watch Zurui’s confidence grow as he interprets this as panic. “No one else is committed to you like I am Yuko, even whilst you flirt with other men, I’m willing to forgive you and take you back. Of course, now that you’ve insulted me, I can't be seen with you as my girlfriend. You’ll have to be my side-bitch, just until I can get some respect back. Oh, and until you’ve earned my trust, obviously.” He leans out to touch me again, and I can feel his hands reaching to me in slow motion. “Just give in Yuko, don’t make me force you.”

As these last threatening words fall from his lips, I feel something in my mind snap. My body acts without my permission, and my fist cracks against his face with a force I didn’t know I was capable of. He stumbles back, holding his cheek with an astonished expression. Before he can get another word out, I fly at him, striking him wildly. Once I start, I can’t stop myself. The years of abuse and brainwashing pour out in repeated hits, and I lose track of how many times I’ve slogged him before I’m suddenly hauled back by both arms. I’m screaming like an animal as I’m dragged onto my back, and several teachers rush over to Zurui, alongside the school nurse. She sits him up with some difficulty, and as she does he spits out blood. 

In the reality of the moment, a wave of calm washes over me and I’m able to see the damage in perfect clarify. Through my outburst, I pasted his face into a swollen, almost unrecognisable mess. I glance over my shoulders to find Tanaka and another male teacher I don’t recognise holding me back. I’m shocked to find adults holding me, and the gravity of my actions weigh on me. 

“Take Mori to the principal's office, I’ll take him to my office for treatment. Don’t let her out of your sight!” The nurse called out, and with the assistance of several teachers, they carried Zurui after her. Before I could say a word, I was dragged into the administration building and locked in the principal's office.

***

I sit in panicked silence for what feels like hours, staring at my knuckles which had already started to bruise. Although I’m terrified of what will happen next, I don’t feel any shred of regret for my actions. For the first time, I feel free of Zurui’s threats; whatever the retaliation may be, I’ll take it willingly.

The door swings open to reveal the principal, who stalked into the room with an air of rage, dropping into his chair and setting his ferocious glare on me. We sat in silence for a moment, and I felt myself squirm under his gaze, before he called for his secretary to send someone in. 

When the door opened again, it was by a terrified and badly beaten Zurui, who made a show of flinching when he saw me. I was surprised at his incredible acting abilities, as he required encouragement from the principal to come further into the room and take a seat near me. I gulped heavily, already preparing myself for the story that he was about to spin.

“Mori, Yuko is that correct?” The principal spoke in a stern manner, staring over the top of his glasses at me. I nodded in response. “You have been at Nishi High for less than a month, and yet have managed to make quite the show of yourself. Tanaka reports that you’ve been removed from the swim club due to an injury, I assume this is from another of your...incidents?”

“Fujioka-san attacked me, alongside two other students who assisted him.” I spoke quietly, staring at the floor, but could feel Zurui’s eyes burning into the side of my face. 

“Is that so? And yet, you reported to our nurse that you had an accident whilst training. If you were attacked, why didn’t you report it?”

“I was afraid he would retaliate.” I muttered.

“That’s awfully convenient Mori-san, considering we have no evidence of this attack ever taking place. What we do have is several witnesses to your attack on Fujioka-san, who is a star pupil and the Captain of the track team, the pride of our school. You, on the other hand, have been skipping classes and were on your way to a disciplinary meeting when this attack occurred. Fujioka-san, are you able to provide any insight into why this incident transpired” The principal turned his attention to Zurui, and as he did, his expression softened and tone became understanding.

“I’m sorry Saito-sensei, I am not able to explain. She attacked me with no provocation, I wasn’t prepared to defend myself. I’ve never had any relationship with her before, but with such unpredictable behaviour, she could be a serious threat to students-” Zurui suddenly choked up and covered his face, and the principal passed him a tissue with a sympathetic look. 

The principal turned back to me with a glare that carried many accusations. “We do not tolerate violence in this school, and in particular we do not work with students who attempt to shift the blame onto their victims when confronted with their behaviour. You have shown a blatant disregard for our school values, and a lack of respect for the faculty who have taken every action to support you since your transfer here. From today, you are expelled as a student of this facility, and will have 48 hours to remove yourself from accommodations. This will be on your permanent record, and any other schools you wish to enroll in will be aware of your expulsion. I wish you luck in your future Mori-san, wherever that may lead you.”

He indicates for me to leave the room by gesturing to the door, and I somehow manage through my shock to get to my feet, and shuffle out of the room. As I click the door behind me, I feel my world tumbling apart, understanding the implications of his final words. It was no longer possible for me to stay in Iwatobi, word of my expulsion would spread like wildfire and no other school here would accept me as a transfer. The dream was absolutely over.

***

I spent hours curled into a ball, catatonic on the floor of my room in halls. I couldn’t process my feelings, they hurtled through my brain in frantic panic and it was impossible to identify any from each other. I couldn’t bring myself to pack anything, or face calling my mum to explain that I would be coming to Tokyo. Everything felt overwhelming and pain pounded through my brain. Eventually, the need to burn off the feelings won over the screaming voices in my mind, and I hurriedly changed into workout gear before slamming the door to my room closed.

I travelled to the local gym in a trance, not even considering whether it would be dangerous to stay local instead of travelling to the next town as usual. Subconsciously, I had decided that the people here were no longer a threat to me, they had already won, what more could they want to destroy? 

It was late, and even though it was dark out, I couldn’t bring myself to worry. I entered the gym, and found it unstaffed and empty. It seemed none of the other locals cared for exercising this late at night, and I relished in the empty space. I dumped my stuff carelessly, and headed straight for the punch bag at the front of the room. I took a moment to wrap my knuckles, and took a few deep breaths, before throwing a half hearted punch at the bag. I was exhausted, the stress zapping me of any energy to fight. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the events of the day, tapping into my frustration. I pictured Zurui’s battered face, the voice of the principal hinting that I would have to leave Iwatobi, imagined myself packing up my room and arranging transport to move to Tokyo, calling my mother to explain why I needed a place to stay. In a flash, I felt hot raw anger pulsing through me and my fist collided with the bag. Just like earlier, one I had started, I couldn’t control the feelings that poured out of me. I hit the bag with both fists, burning out as much fury with each strike as I could, and when it wasn’t enough I started switching out for kicks. 

I could feel my temperature rising, and my breath growing rapid, but I couldn’t stop. The sweat covered my skin and my fists throbbed, but I continued hitting, even when the punches became slacked. My legs were verging on buckling under the strain and my arms shook between each swing. I could hear something in the background of my awareness, but I ignored it, maintaining my focus on the bag.

In the same moment, my legs gave out and I forced myself to stay standing, wobbling away from the bag as I try to hit it again, and something stands in my way. I lean to get past it, but I can’t move my arms and my knees drop. Instead of meeting the ground, I’m pulled forward and into the embrace of a familiar body.

“Yuko stop! Enough!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	6. It's...over?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed this and want me to write more, leave me a comment! Comments motivate me to work ;)

Deep crimson eyes pull me from my outburst, and I bring my focus down to my arms, only to find Rin’s strong hands gripped tightly around my wrists. “You need to stop, your body can’t take any more!”

I try to bring my protective wall back up, to force out some sort of whitty remark, but the intensity of his stare throws my already unsteady mind into a spin. The tears burst through and I find myself sobbing in seconds. I expect Rin to panic, to push me away and run, but instead he pulls me into his chest, holding me in the same comforting manner he did right after Zurui’s attack. I try to reign the tears in, to force back some of my composure, but it’s hopeless, and Rin seems content to allow me to cry for as long as I need.

“It’s okay, whatever happened, we’ll figure it out. Shh” Rin speaks gently, stroking my hair in a reassuring manner.

Although I’m still sobbing deeply, I feel like I owe him an explanation and choke out some words between gasping breaths. “I attacked Zurui... He baited me and I lost it…the teachers saw me...I got expelled...no other school here will take me...I’m gonna have to leave again...no one believes me about him...I’m done!” In the distress of recounting the days events, I find myself shaking again and struggling for breath. 

“Take your time Yuko, just give yourself a moment.” Rin holds me calmly, patiently allowing me to catch my breath.

We sit in a crumpled mess on the floor for what seems like hours, until I eventually run out of tears. I stay leaned up against him, shaking lighter than before, and feel exhaustion wash over me. I finally move out of Rin’s embrace and gaze up into his face with tired eyes.

“Let’s work this out logically okay? If you had to move again, not that  _ you _ should be the one who has to leave, but say you did...surely that would give you a chance at a fresh start?” Rin looks at me quizzically, analysing both the situation and my reaction to his suggestion. I grimace, and he seems intrigued. “Why did you even come back here?” I avoid his gaze, considering how to explain my decision. “I mean really, if you want to swim, they are many better places than Iwatobi. It seems a strange choice to come somewhere that limits your options, and that you already had to leave once?”

I stay silent for a while, and Rin waits patiently, making it clear that he expects an answer without putting any uncomfortable pressure on me. “I found out the hard way that running away doesn’t fix the problem.” I spoke with frustration and hoped that he’d leave it at that, but instead I seemed to have sparked his interest, and he waited with eager eyes. I sighed deeply, preparing myself to attempt to trust him, just a little. “I was a freak in England too. Just because my parents were born there it doesn’t make me British to the local kids. I spoke fluent Japanese, listen to J-pop, read manga, all my interests and style were based here. I stood out. You must’ve faced the same thing in Australia?”

Rin looked momentarily uncomfortable, and stares at me with intensity, before his expression softens and his body language opens up. “Honestly, yeah, I get that. I mean, I was too big for anyone to even think about giving me grief. But I was lonely, the other kids didn’t get me at all, so they isolated me. It was awful…but, wouldn’t that be preferable to here?”

“I wasn’t just lonely, I was picked on. I didn’t fit and they wanted to make sure I was aware of that. The whole school didn’t want to be associated with the weird transfer kid, they couldn’t risk being bullied for it. I wasn’t even allowed to join any sports teams. The tougher kids pushed me in the halls, spat at me, locked me in lockers. At least here I had friends to ride the tough times out with, in England I had no one and was still getting targeted constantly. I figured it was finally time to come back and face my shit. As you can see, that’s going really well.” I tried to force a laugh, but no sound came. “It’s like a never ending nightmare.”

Rin sighed in frustration, and we sat in silence. I watched him carefully, almost able to see the cogs turning in his head. “It’s too much!” He snapped, and I flinched at the sudden sound. He met my eyes with an apologetic look and softened his voice again. “It’s just too much Yuko, all of it, it’s gone on for far too long.” He slowly got to his feet, and gently pulled me up after him. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

“But, I…” I trailed off, unsure how to explain what I felt. If I went back to my room, I’d need to start packing.

“You need to get some sleep, and I’m not gonna be able to relax if I don’t make sure you get back safe.” He gathers my things as he speaks, casually throwing my gym bag over his shoulder and heading for the door, gesturing for me to follow.

I stepped out into the cool night and Rin checked the gym door was closed properly. He took the lead, and I followed quietly beside him. “How did you know I was here?” I asked.

“For once I actually didn’t, you haven’t exactly been all that predictable recently.” I cocked my head at him, not quite believing the coincidence after all his adventures of following me. “Honestly, this time I wasn’t following you, I swear! I jog past here, I noticed the lights in the gym were on which is weird this time of night, and I saw you through the window. I was just gonna check you were okay but then I noticed you wobbling around.” He looked pointedly at me and I quickly averted my eyes. I glanced over my shoulder back at the gym, and realised you could clearly see the area with the punch bag from the outside of the large glass fronted building.

We walked the rest of the way to my dorms in a comfortable silence, and as I arrived at the entrance of my room, I hovered awkwardly, not wanting to enter. I could feel Rin’s eyes on my back, but stood frozen with my keys in my hand, terrified to face the reality awaiting me.

Rin cleared his throat, and I turned to face him. “Look, it’s late, don’t try to get anything done tonight. Just get some sleep, and don’t worry about any of this, alright?” He smiled reassuringly, and I stared back at him in disbelief. “Trust me. Goodnight.”

He waited for me to unlock the door and step inside before casually strolling off. I locked the door and stood staring around the sparsely decorated room in a trance. Most of my stuff was still in boxes anyway, and I hadn’t flat packed the boxes I’d emptied yet. I decided to take Rin’s advice and ignored it for tonight. I kicked my way through the boxes and collapsed face first into the bed, exhaustion pulling me into sleep in seconds.

***

**RIN’S POV**

I let myself into the family home and awkwardly called out to see who was around. Gou and mum’s voices chimed back in surprise, and I dumped my stuff at the door before making my way in. Gou was the first to greet me, practically running to the door in excitement.

“Onee-chan! What are you doing home? Did something happen at the academy?” Her questions flood out in a jumbled mess, and she could barely contain her interest.

“Not exactly…” I mutter. “Look, I need your advice on something.”

“My advice?” Gou looked overjoyed to be asked for input.

“It’s about your friend, Yuko.”

“Ohhh!” She chimed, her face lighting up in excitement. “I thought this might happen after your tomato face at-”

“What?! No it’s not-ugh!” I groaned in frustration. “Gou, focus for a moment, Yuko is in trouble.” I lowered my voice as the sounds of pots and pans in the kitchen reminded my that mum was home.

“Oh.” Gou’s face dropped and she looked distraught. “I hoped she wasn’t, but she didn’t seem right. What can I do to help?”

“Is there anything we can do to get an expelled student accepted in another school here?” I asked. At this point, I didn’t expect her to be able to suggest anything, I hadn’t been able to decide what I wanted to do yet. I felt like if I could talk to someone about it, someone that knew Yuko, perhaps use them as a sounding board, it might help me to think of a solution I hadn’t considered yet.

“ _ Expelled?! _ ” Gou gasped, and she bought her hands to her mouth as I shushed her dramatically. We paused and both waited with bated breath to see if mum had heard. After a few moments without a reaction, we relaxed. “How did that happen?!” Gou whispered.

“It was that fucking Zurui bastard, and I’d bet money that snakey Captain of hers is involved too.” I growled, feeling my temper rising. I had struggled to contain it earlier this evening whilst Yuko cried, and I was too exhausted to hold it inside any longer. I clenched my fists as I spoke. “He baited her into defending herself and the teachers only saw what they wanted to, as usual. She wouldn’t have done it if she didn’t have to! It’s not right her being expelled, while he’s walking free. He broke her god damn ribs Gou!” I hadn’t realised I was yelling until my anger caused me to lash out and punch the wall. I stood panting for a moment, whilst Gou simply looked on in horror.

“What’s going on?” Mum’s sharp voice pulled me from my thoughts, and my eyes shot up to find her standing at the end of the hall with her arms crossed and a wooden spoon tightly gripped in her hand. I glanced over at Gou, who was staring at mum with a sheepish expression. Before I could say a word, Gou burst into tears and ran to her, and mum wrapped her arms around her tightly. She then stared me down with a concerned look. 

I sighed heavily. “It’s Yuko.”

“Oh no, not Yuko-chan again.” Mum’s eyes widen, and she looks down at Gou who seems to be far from calming down. “What’s happening now?”

Mum takes us into the living room to sit down and brews some tea to calm Gou. Once she’s caught her breath, Gou tells her the whole story, including details I never knew from earlier years. My hands shake, and I’m frustrated that I didn’t notice how awful the situation was before now. When she is finally finished explaining, we all sit in a stressful silence, not knowing what to say.

Mum looks deep in thought, but clears her throat to speak. “I knew Yuko-chan’s mother, she was a nice woman, she would be distraught. You said her parents are in Tokyo now, Gou?” Gou nods silently. “Rin, do you truly think staying in Iwatobi is the best thing for Yuko?” She turns her tired eyes to me. 

I consider the thought carefully before responding. “She told me England was terrible for her too. I don’t think she wants to run away any more, she wants to be here.” As I speak, conflicting feelings shoot through my mind. Although I’m strangely comforted by the idea of Yuko staying in Iwatobi, every instinct in my body screams to move her as far from here as possible.

Mum sighs thoughtfully. “Rin, you said you found Yuko-chan being attacked near the old Iwatobi swim club right?”

“Yeah, it was near that part of town.” I answer curiously.

“Gou, could you contact Sasabe-san? I heard he was putting security cameras up as part of the renovations, he may have something useful?”

“Mum that’s genius!” Gou exclaimed.

“It’s a good idea, but I doubt Yuko would go to the police with footage, and Nishi isn’t going to want to hear anything bad about their star sportsman.” I spat, speaking with more anger than intended.

“I didn’t say anything about the police.” Mum smiled with a determination I had never seen before.

***

**YUKO’S POV**

I made my way through the crowded courtyard in a trance. Although I collapsed from exhaustion last night, I woke in a sweat soaked state of terror around 4am. Since then, I’d managed to pack the limited possessions that I’d successfully integrated into my room back into boxes, and moved my clothes into a suitcase. It was a jarring moment to see my life reduced to a couple of boxes and a suitcase, and worse to see these limited possessions packed away again so soon. 

The campus was crowded as usual during lunch breaks, but I’d been summoned to an appointment to sign paperwork that acknowledged I would be giving up my accommodation. I hated being out of my room during such busy times, and made every attempt to be as invisible as possible as I headed back to my room to arrange transport for myself and my things. I had decided to face leaving quickly, instead of avoiding it. However, the hardest part was still to come, I hadn’t told my parents.

I barely noticed the sudden thinning of the crowds, and was so deep in my own thoughts that I didn’t hear the confident voice calling out my name. It wasn’t until I bumped into someone, and received no reaction to my profuse apologies, that I followed their line of sight to find Rin jogging through the parting crowd towards me with a beaming smile. He wore his Samezuka Academy sports jacket, which seemed unusual for this time of day, and I stared at him in confusion.

“Yuko, there you are!” He beamed.

“Matsuoka-san? What are you doing here?” I spoke bashfully, as I realised the crowd had stopped moving and were all now intently watching our exchange.

“I’ve got some news for you, I tried your room first, I was worried you’d left without saying goodbye!” He exclaimed, looking put out. I shuffled my feet awkwardly. “That was your plan huh? Good to know I’m finally starting to get you.” He tried to pout sulkily, but his smile broke through. “Yuko, you don’t have to leave, you’ve been accepted into Iwatobi High!”

I stared back with utter bewilderment. “Wha-how?! I didn’t apply…”

“I know you didn’t. Look I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I didn’t want to get your hopes up after you told me how much you wanted to stay here.” He shrugged uncomfortably, and bought his hand to the back of his neck in a shy gesture as he spoke. “Gou did a little detective work and got some cctv footage of Zurui attacking you from the cameras at Iwatobi Swim Club. We took it to the principal and Iwatobi-”

“How did you get the principal to see you?!” I interrupted, distressed at the lengths he may have gone to.

“Well, it turns out my mum and him go way back. She used her credibility to get a meeting, explained the situation, and backed it up with cctv and records from Iwatobi junior high to prove reports of bullying. Yuko, they accepted you for immediate transfer!” He cheered, his smile growing brighter. I didn’t react, continuing to stare at him in astonishment, frozen to the spot. “It’s okay, I know you probably need some time to process. I’m also gonna take a wild guess and say you ignored my advice and packed your room up last night?”

I couldn’t get any words out, I couldn’t even think over my shock.  _ It’s...over?  _

Rin sighed in contemptment, and looked over me at the crowd around me. His posture suddenly stiffened, and he stuck his chest out, before addressing them sternly. “This bullshit stops today! Anyone wanting to get to Yuko from now on will have to get through me.” Many of the people in the crowd jumped at the firmness in his words, but no one spoke.

“And me.” The next voice to carry across the crowd sent shivers down the spine of any onlooker, and a looming shadow towered over me from behind Rin. I looked up to see the familiar broad frame of Sosuke, and although he spoke with an icy glare, his mouth twitched to show a brief smile to me. 

“Me too.” Fiery red hair caught my attention on the other side of Rin, and Seijuro stood confidently, forming a wall around me. I noticed both him and Sosuke were also wearing their team jackets, and raised an eyebrow inquisitively. Before I could ask, I was interrupted by a chorus of voices from behind the boys, and leaned around to see a mass of Samezuka jackets approaching. 

“Us too!” Around another ten guys in Samezuka jackets now surround Rin, and there are several gasps from the crowd. 

“Mori-san is under the protection of the Samezuka swim team, anyone got a problem with that?!” Seijuro bellowed, stepping in front of Rin to size up the quickly dispersing crowd.

“You bought the entire team?” I manage to stutter through my daze.

Rin chuckled and rubs the back of his neck. “They were supposed to come to help out with moving boxes for you, but I Captain Mikoshiba had other ideas.” He shrugged casually. “Did you pack already like I guessed?”

I nodded back, trying to shake myself from my stunned state. Instead of being annoyed, Rin simply laughed before rallying the team to my dorms. I quickly hurried after him. “There’s only a couple of boxes and a case, I don’t need the whole swim team.” I stress, trying to slow them down.

“That’s fine, they can keep an out and make sure the move goes smoothly.” Rin smiles confidently.

“I-I can't move right now!” I stutter, before blushing and staring at my feet when he looks quizzically at me. “I really appreciate what you’re doing but...I don’t have anywhere to go. I need some time to figure things out, I can move by myself once I sort it.” I avoid meeting his eyes, afraid of the pity I would see.

“Well, we’ve already thought of that. Look, I don’t want to force anything on you, I don’t want to be like  _ him _ .” Rin speaks quietly, stepping to one side with me and allowing the team to go ahead to my room. “I haven’t said yes, because I want you to have the choice. But I have an aunt in town who has a spare room. Mum has already spoken to her and she’s happy to let you use the room.”

I stare at him in bewilderment again. Every time he opens his mouth today things seem to get stranger. “I can’t do that...your poor aunt doesn’t need some random kid crashing at her house-”

“Yuko, I’ll be honest with you, she really does need that. She’s lonely, she’s got a spare room and as long as you don’t mind cats, you’ll be safe there. If you feel like you’re crashing, you could always get a part time gig and give her some money for rent? I don’t know how you’ll get her to take it but you can work that out later. It’s your decision, but you have an option.”

“You don’t need to do all this-” I start to speak but he shushes me.

“I know I don’t, I want to.” He smiles supportively, before our attention is grabbed by the team yelling. “For now though, we should probably let them into your room, don’t you think?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me elsewhere!
> 
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Podcast: PuddyGetsGeeks on iTunes, Spotify, Player.FM, PodBean & Stitcher!


	7. First day of school

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed this and want me to write more, leave me a comment! Comments motivate me to work ;)

“Yuko, are you ready?”

Rin’s voice carried through the house as I rushed to gather my things for school. I’d been relieved to spend a couple of days in his aunt’s house alone, gradually unpacking, whilst she was away. He had been respectful and given me space while I did this, but assured my that his aunt was definitely aware I was joining her and had approved. I still felt uncomfortable about the situation, but given the choice between that and moving to Tokyo with my parents, I’d decided to try to quash my feelings of weirdness. 

I grabbed my bag and headed downstairs to find Rin waiting by the stairs. He seemed distracted, checking his phone and I quickly checked my hair in the mirror before he noticed. I shifted awkwardly, trying to adjust the position of my new uniform. The Iwatobi High School uniform insisted on a mandatory skirt and knee high socks for girls, and I felt conscious of how much of my legs were on show in the rather short skirt. Rin glanced up to check if I was ready and his eyes widened as the roamed from my feet upwards. I felt my face flush and fidgeted with my blazer. For a moment, I thought I saw a slight rose coloured blush on his cheeks, but he quickly shook it off.

“Come on, don’t want to be late for your first day.” He smiled reassuringly, holding the door open for me.

“You don’t have to walk me you know?” I pout, hesitantly stepping outside.

“I know I don’t, I just want to make sure things start on the right foot.”

I glance over at him quizzically, but he avoids my gaze. Instead, I spend the rest of the journey listening to him talk about the Samezuka swim team, and his hopes for the school year that was about to start. Nishi’s term started a month earlier than other schools in the area, and so although some limited classes had begun everywhere, full term was not in full swing as yet. This allowed the graduating class to spend some time tying up loose ends and saying goodbye to the younger years before moving on to college, or wherever they were going next. 

As we neared the Iwatobi High premises, I could feel myself growing nervous. I tried to keep Rin from detecting it, continuing to respond to his chatter, but as we turned the corner to the main entrance, I was distracted by a large group approaching from across the road. My eyes widened at the mass of red and black, and felt myself growing tired of the shock at the arrival of this group.

“Hey, you made it!” Rin cheered, high-fiving the towering Seijuro as he lead the entire Samezuka team to meet us. 

I rounded on Rin. “Is this really necessary?” I asked, exasperated at his ridiculous plan.

“I told you, I want to make sure things start out right here.” He smiles, but I notice an apologetic look cross his face, before quickly changing to smug. 

“And you think the best way to do that is to show the school that I have the entire Samezuka swim team as my personal escort? What are you going to do if they pick on after you’re gone for my dramatic entrance?” 

“I’ve already thought of that. Don’t worry Yuko, I’ve made arrangements.” He smiled and gestured for me to lead towards the school.

I gave him a sceptical look, before reluctantly stepping ahead of him and making my way toward the front gates, surrounded by the team. I rolled my eyes and almost facepalmed, but managed to stop myself. I had noticed other students staring at the approaching Samezuka team, but I was focused on Gou, who stood at the gates almost bouncing in excitement, backed by the Iwatobi swim team. At this point, I’d worked out Rin’s plan and was mortified. 

“Seriously?!” I hissed over my shoulder at Rin, who was following with an expression so smug that I could hardly stand to look at him. 

Rin stepped into time with me, and marched me confidently to Gou. “Sis, guys.” He nodded casually, and I turned to see the rest of the team moving into a guarded position behind me. I sighed, embarrassed at the drama of the display they were putting on. The Iwatobi team looked relatively confused by it all, but did their best to play along. “Thanks for this.”

I glanced around to check if anyone had noticed the display, and immediately regretted it. Any of the students who had been hanging around the school gates, or making their way in, had stopped in their tracks to stare at the exchange between teams. I blushed and stared at my feet, conscious of the copious attention on me. “Okay you made your point, please go.” I whispered to Rin, who just smiled back.

I watched him puff his chest out, as he’d done in front of the crowds at Nishi, and prepared myself for any embarrassing speech he was about to make. Suddenly, moving to Tokyo with my parents didn’t sound like such a bad option after all.

“Makoto, Haru, Nagisa, Rei, I’m trusting you to keep an eye on Yuko. If there’s any problems, just call and we’ll come.” He spoke coldly, and purposely ensured that he was loud enough for anyone in the area to hear. “We’ll be around anyway. After all, she’s under Samezuka’s protection.” He spoke the last sentence pointedly, and took a moment to glare at anyone who was watching. “I’ll catch up with you soon, try to have some fun.” He whispered, whilst the crowd was pretending not to look in the aftermath of his piercing stare. He patted me gently on the shoulder, before turning on his heel and leading the team away with him.

I let out a breath I didn’t even realise I was holding, as the crowd dispersed following Samezuka’s departure. Gou stepped forward to greet me with a beaming smile.

“Yuko-chan! It’s so good to have you back in an Iwatobi school, where you belong!” She chimed, threading her arm through mine. I flinch at the contact, but try to allow myself to relax into it. Gou pulls me forward to the boys, who are patiently waiting with warm smiles, except for Haruka who looks thoroughly disinterested. 

“It’s great to have you back Yuko-chan.” Makoto smiled warmly, holding the back of Nagisa’s shirt, who looked like he might scream from excitement. 

“Just Yuko, is fine.” I choked out, forcing a smile. My time back in England had left me rusty in honorifics, and it felt immensely formal to be addressed with a title now, even allowing people not to use them should be a sign of close friendship. Makoto smiled reassuringly and nodded in acknowledgement. He nudged Haru, who glanced at me and waved in a careless manner.

“Yukoooo!” Nagisa wailed, pulling me attention back to his pouting face. “It’s been so long since we were in school together, now you’re here it’s like the whole group is back!” He cheered, before faltering. “Just a shame Rin couldn’t go here.”

I felt a genuine smile spread at the mention of Rin’s name. “It is, but he seems happy at Samezuka.” I replied honestly. I met Makoto’s eyes, which seemed to shine in joy at my words.

“Mori-senpai!” A sharp voice startled me, and I snapped my head around to find Rei standing stiffly, staring at me. “Forgive me for the sudden intrusion, but does this mean you’ll be joining the Iwatobi team?!”

“No.” My answer was curt, and I took a breath before speaking again in an attempt to soften my words. I could feel Gou’s disappointed look out of the corner of my eye. “And please, call me Yuko.”

“Sorry, Yuko-senpai.” Rei exclaimed. “You may call me Rei.”

“Yeah Yuko, don’t worry about any formalities with us! We’re friends after all!” Nagisa chirped.

“Why not?” A cold voice cut through the conversation, and I had to lean to one side slightly to make eye contact with Haruka. I looked at him quizzically. “Why don’t you want to swim?” He spoke evenly, his eyes never leaving mine.

I sighed thoughtfully. “It’s just not the right choice for me right now. I’m sorry.” As soon as I replied, I watched a disappointed expression cross Haruka’s face, before he returned to looking bored.

“Come on, we’re gonna be late to registration. We’ll see you guys later!” Gou seemed to notice the tension, and quickly cut through it, dragging me away from them and into the school. She led me to the faculty room, where I completed the forms and was given my class assignments. As we stepped out of the room and I slid the door closed, Gou examined my class list.

“Oh fantastic! You’re in class 2-1 with Rei-kun and Nagisa-kun! That’ll help you get settled, Nagisa-kun will be able to introduce you to nice people like him.” She beamed up at my encouragingly and I sighed. It seemed Rin had briefed everyone on making sure things started on the right foot for me.

“Kou, you know you don’t have to babysit me, right?” I muttered, and she pulled a face of hurt.

“Of course I do!” She pouted. “I’m here because I want to be. My best friend is finally back at the same school as me, I’m happy!”

She handed back the list and looped her arm through mine, leading me through the halls. We still had a while until home room and so Gou made herself busy showing me around the essential parts of the campus, such as the cafeteria and the pool. Whilst we stood around the pool, she seemed distracted, staring at the water silently. I shifted my feet uncomfortably, I wasn’t used to her being quiet.

“Are you upset with me for not joining the team?” I asked, keeping my eyes on the water. I felt her focus snap up to my face, but avoided her eyes. 

“No!” She almost shrieked, horrified by the question. “Yuko I’m not upset with you at all.” She sighed and returned her focus to the water. “I was just thinking about what you said earlier about onii-san. Did you mean it? Do you really think he’s happy?”

I thought about it for a moment, and reflected on the conversations we’d had recently. Everything he’d said about his time at Samezuka had been positive, and he seemed to have set huge goals for himself there. Besides, despite Seijuro being the Captain, the entire team seemed to be dedicated to him, even missing time at school to check on me at his request. I couldn’t imagine that they would do that for someone they didn’t like, and value highly. “I did, he seems to have found exactly where he belongs.” I answered.

I watched Gou’s warm smile reflected in the water. “I hope so, it’s been a long time coming.” Her expression shifted rapidly, and she changed the topic. “Anyway, I’d better get you dropped off at homeroom, you don’t want to be late for the first session.”

***

The school day seemed to drag, and although having Rei and Nagisa in the same classroom should have been a comfort, it felt like I had a babysitter watching me constantly, searching for any signs of stress. As soon as the bell rang, I rushed out of the class, ensuring that they weren’t able to catch up in the crowd. I hurried off the school grounds, praying that I wouldn’t find Gou or any of the Samezuka team waiting for me at the gates. I was relieved to find sneak through the gates unnoticed and slowed down for the walk home.

I let myself into the house and was surprised to find the lights switched on. I put my bag down at the door, and took off my shoes, replacing them for the house slippers. I made my way inside nervously, unsure what to expect, when an older woman with grey streaked maroon hair stepped into my field of vision.

“You must be the Yuko-chan I’ve heard so much about!” She spoke gently but full of affection and smiled kindly at me. 

I immediately bowed my head in respect, and spoke slowly, careful to ensure I remembered to use my best manners. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Ayaka-san. I am honoured you have allowed me to stay in your home during your absence. If you would prefer that I leave now you have returned, you only need to ask-”

“Rin-chan told me you would be reluctant, but he didn’t say you were so polite!” She chuckled. “Look at me child.” She spoke softly, but there was still an element of commanding respect in her tone and I whipped my gaze up to her. “You are welcome in my home, and I am happy to have you here. As long as you don’t upset my cats.” She smiled mischievously.

“Th-thank you Ayaka-san.” I stuttered.

“That’s quite enough of the formality my dear, call me Oba.” She scolded, and I stared back at her wide eyed. “Anyone important to my precious Rin and Gou are important to me. I want you to feel at home here. May I call you Yuko?” Her smile was authentic and sparkled in her eyes. I nodded quickly. “Good, now that we’ve got that out of the way, come and get some dinner.” 

She rounded the corner without another word and I followed awkwardly into the kitchen. When I entered the room, I was surprised to find food filling the table, and Ayaka busied herself with preparing plates and cutlery. “Please, let me help!” I cried and she simply tutted at me.  


“Nonsense, you sit yourself down and let me serve the meal. I haven’t had anyone round for dinner in a while, it’s nice to have someone to cook for.” She spoke casually, and I realised there was something relaxing in her manner, as if I’d known her for years already. I placed myself at the table and watched her shuffling around the kitchen with interest. It was easy to recognise her as Rin’s aunt, her hair had the same beautiful tone to it, despite the odd greys. She seemed older than Rin’s mother, but was still remarkably pretty. She wore a pair of chino trousers with a white blouse and grey cardigan with lace details. I couldn’t help the impression that she’d once been highly fashionable, and wondered if she still harboured an interest in it. She pulled her glinting hair back into a loose bun before joining me at the table, and took off her glasses. This drew my attention to her eyes, which were the same unusual shade of ruby and I was momentarily transfixed, as I always was by Rin’s.

“Please, help yourself.” She indicated to the table, pulling my attention back to the moment. We ate in a comfortable silence for a while and I slowly took in my surroundings, grounding myself. Ayaka’s home was typical of the area, with tatami over the wood flooring, and the usual low dining table. I noticed a lot of cat equipment and beds around, and remembered Rin’s mention that she had several cats for company.

“Rin told me that you and Gou went to school together?” Ayaka pulled me attention back to her, and her expression was curious.

“Yes that’s right, she was my best friend in junior high. Any time I wasn’t at home, I was at her house.” I spoke from the heart, and was surprised to realise how at easy Ayaka made me feel discussing the past.

“That’s sweet. It must be nice to be able to spend time together again so many years later.” 

“It’s a little strange to be honest.” I said, staring at the food that I fiddled on my fork. “After so much has happened, to be back in the same town, the same school, with some of the kids that I was friends with as a kid. It’s jarring.” I spoke quietly, and tried to word my thoughts carefully so as not to accidentally offend.

Ayaka was quiet, seeming thoughtful. “I would think that’s normal dear, a great deal has changed, it will take some time to adjust to being back in similar surroundings when the situation is vastly different.” She smiled reassuringly and I felt comforted by her words. “Rin told me that you swim, quite well by his description.” There was a twinkle in her eyes as she spoke and I felt a slight blush dust my cheeks.

“I do swim, although not as well as others would have you believe.” I replied, shifting awkwardly in my seat. She seemed to scrutinise my reaction, and use it to decide her next words.

“Gou seemed to be under the impression you’d be joining the Iwatobi team now, she was very excited at the prospect.” She looked at me pointedly as she spoke.

“I haven’t decided yet.” I lied, not wanting to admit that I’d crushed Gou’s excitement without any explanation, even if I had the feeling that she had worked that out already from my reactions alone. “I can’t swim for at least another four weeks anyway, so I’ve got time to consider it.”

“Hmm, well I hope you do consider it, from what I’ve heard it would be a monumental loss for the local competitions.” I felt uncomfortable at such praise and so distracted myself with eating in the hope that she would change the topic. A few moments passed before she spoke again, and I almost choked on my food at her words. “You know, Rin seems to be rather enamoured with you. I’ve never heard him speak so fondly of someone.”

I coughed and spluttered in an attempt to recover my composure, and dabbed a napkin around my mouth. My face felt hot and struggled to keep my tone even as I spoke. “I honestly don’t think it’s anything like that. Your nephew simply cannot stand for watching someone suffer, he was determined to do the right thing. I can only credit it to the excellent morals your sister has raised him with.”

Ayaka chuckled and fixed me with a smug smile. “Although I’m sure you’re completely right about Miyako’s parenting, I know my nephew. I know the difference between when he is behaving as he thinks he should, and when he has a personal interest in something...or someone.”

I rose from the table as smoothly as possible and asked to be excused, to which Ayaka agreed with a teasing smile. I swept for the kitchen and made my way to the door to collect my school bag. As I turned to go upstairs, I was interrupted by a small black cat, as it approached to sniff me. I stood perfectly still, afraid of startling it and invoking Ayaka’s wrath. It took a careful sniff, before proceeding to rub it’s head warmly against my leg. 

“My my, I never thought you’d be such a softie Luna.” Ayaka’s voice carried an entertained tone as she emerged in the hallway, her focus on the cat. “She’s usually skittish, hates people. It’s her I was most worried about, but it seems there was no need. She’s taken a real shine to you.” She smiled.

Luna was now winding her way between my calves, purring as she slinked against me. I smiled down at her, still too nervous to touch her in case it frightened her off. Once she’d had enough, she stepped back and seemed to wait just ahead of my feet. I glanced up at Ayaka in confusion, and she indicated with her hand that I was free to move. I made my way carefully up the stairs with Luna hot on my heels, and she happily followed me into my room for the night.

I showered, changed into my pajamas and settled into my room for the night. I relaxed on the bed, watching Luna curl herself up at the foot of the bed and watching me with interest. I flicked through my notes from class today, feeling my eyelids grow heavy when my phone buzzed on the bedside table. I picked it up to find a text waiting from Gou. 

**[8:30 pm]**

**From: Kou**

**To: Yuko**

**Hey, where you go after school? I couldn’t find you and the guys said you rushed off. Is everything okay? x**

I sighed and rolled my eyes. I couldn’t help but wonder if she was texting because she was concerned, or if Rin had asked her to. I reflected on what Ayaka had said at dinner and felt a blush on my cheeks again. 

**[8:32 pm]**

**From: Yuko**

**To: Kou**

**I’m fine, I just wanted to get home and relax without needing security to walk me. Tell him to stop checking.**

I wasn’t sure why the idea of his concern aggravated me, but anytime it was questioned I could feel myself getting stressed. I put the phone back on the side and continued reading. Before I knew it, I had dozed on top of the covers with the books messily spread on my lap. The room was dark when I fidgeted awake, and I looked down to find Luna sleeping at my feet. I tried to move as carefully as possible so as not to wake her, but the second I moved to tuck my legs into the covers, she meowed in protest and stretched herself out. I quickly checked my phone, shocked to find that it was now 1am and noticed a reply from Gou.

**[8:40 pm]**

**From: Kou**

**To: Yuko**

**We’re both concerned about you Yuko. Just let us know if you need anything.**

She said us, which meant that Rin had asked about me again. I blushed a little, considering Ayaka’s words again, before attempting to physically shake it off and burying my head in the covers. That night, Rin appeared in almost every dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me elsewhere!
> 
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Podcast: PuddyGetsGeeks on iTunes, Spotify, Player.FM, PodBean & Stitcher!


	8. Just you and I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed this and want me to write more, leave me a comment! Comments motivate me to work ;)

A month had passed and I was finally starting to settle into a relaxed routine. I was woken early each morning by Luna’s yowling for food, and wondered down to set out breakfast for her and the other cats. Ayaka had decided this was an unexpected benefit of my living with her, as she was now able to sleep in and I was usually up early to exercise anyway. I’d been cleared to swim again, and felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Each morning, I either went out for a walk or got the opportunity to swim.

Rin was still concerned, but had finally stopped assigning members of the swim team to tail me around town. He was worried that I may bump into Nishi students if I continued travelling to the pool in the next town over, and so had negotiated with Captain Seijuro to give me an extra set of keys to the pool. Rin text me the team’s routine, so I could sneak in either first thing in the morning or late at night when they weren’t around. I’d been making good use of this, swimming at some point on an almost daily basis, and this had helped my mental health enormously.

I wasn’t seeing Rin much lately, but he still kept in touch, checking if there was anything else he could do help. Last week, he informed me that due to the outrage of the Iwatobi principal at the evidence they bought of my bullying, a formal investigation had begun over at Nishi High. Zurui and his cronies were expelled and all sports clubs in the immediate area had been notified of their behaviour. It was looking likely that they would be attending a school in Tokyo, or perhaps even further away, to try to salvage their ruined reputations. It seemed like things were finally falling into the pattern of an ordinary life for me.

I packed up the lunch that Ayaka had left on the side, and headed out to school. I found that I now approached school with a slight smile, excited to spend time with my best friend. I had even started to relax around the swim team, although I still didn’t feel like I had much to say to them, and got the impression they were working out how to convince me to join the team. 

I had a free period this morning, so headed to the library to catch up on some studying. Although the transfer had been relatively smooth, I still had a fair amount to catch up on due to the difference in curriculum in Japan compared to England. I sat quietly in the library, enjoying the peace and flicked through a text book. It wasn’t long before the sound of rushing footsteps carried across the room, and a mess of maroon hair appeared over the top of my book. 

“Yuko! There you are!” Gou’s beaming face filled my view, and she excitedly pushed the book I was holding down to the table. “Exciting news, we’re going to Samezuka tomorrow!” 

“Samezuka? Why?” I questioned, with a flickering look of annoyance at the discarded book.

“Captain Mikoshiba has arranged a send off event for the 3rd years and he’s invited the Iwatobi team to come and support.”

“That’s great Kou, it’s cool to see teams supporting each other.” I smiled genuinely, and leaned forward to pick up my book, but Gou quickly moved it out of reach.

“You should come!” She cheered, and I noticed several others in the library glaring over at her in annoyance. I cringed, but Gou didn’t even notice.

“Why? I’m not in the Iwatobi team.” I whispered back, trying to encourage her to lower her voice in response. She seemed to catch on, and looked around sheepishly. I took the opportunity to grab my book back and tried to look busy in the hope that she would drop the topic.

“I can think of one reason you should go.” Gou spoke coyly, and I peered over my book quizzically. She lent forward and lowered her voice. “I’m sure Onii-chan would love to see you there…cheering him on…” She winked, before leaning back in her seat, and returning to her loud-self as she mocked fangirl behaviour.

“Firstly, I would choose death before fawning over your brother, and secondly he won’t care whether I’m there or not. He’s an athlete Kou, his focus is on his swimming and his team.” I replied sternly, sinking down in my chair to hide behind my book once I was done speaking. 

I heard Gou sigh dramatically, before leaning forward to pull the book down again. “Oh, he would care. Just think about it, please. I need some support, it’s really hard being the club manager, I have so much to do all by myself-“ She was now wailing and I lost count of the amount of people glaring at us.

“Be quiet Kou!” I hissed. “If I say I’ll consider it, will you stop?”

She was leaning back in her chair, holding a hand to her forehead as if she were about to faint, and at my words, leaned forward with a smug smile. “Thank you.” She grinned slyly and I rolled my eyes. “I have to get to class, but don’t forget about tomorrow, 10:30am at the academy!” She cheered as she jumped to her feet and hurried out of the room.

“I didn’t say I would go!” I called after her, much to the annoyance of the other students, and I shifted awkwardly, hiding behind my book. 

I managed to study without interruption for the rest of my free period, and the rest of my classes went by relatively quickly. I watched Makoto and the others fight about whether smoked mackerel at every meal was a healthy diet over lunch, and Gou rambled about the lack of muscles at Iwatobi in our afternoon break. 

I was walking out of the school gates when I felt my phone buzz. Now out of school grounds, I was free to text and quickly fidgeted it out of my bag.

**[4:00 pm]**

**From: Rin**

**To: Yuko**

**Practice is cancelled tonight, pool is yours from 9pm.**

I smiled at the sight of Rin’s name on my screen, and openly celebrated at the idea of access to the pool tonight. I rushed home to pack a bag for the pool, and sped through my homework. I came down to the kitchen to find food laid out in plastic tubs, with a note from Asaka to say she was out for the evening. I ate dinner and read for a while to kill some time until it was time to leave for Samezuka.

***

The water was cool and I enjoyed gliding through it in the limited lighting after the pool was closed. Although it was important to get practice in to keep my speed, especially after 6 weeks without, there was also something therapeutic about being in the water. I often laid, floating on top of the deserted pool and stared up at the stars through the glass ceiling. It was a safe space where I could think and dipping my head back enough for my ears to be in the water left a strangely relaxing sound. 

I returned to laps of the pool and used my phone to time myself. This was the first time I had properly pushed myself since I’d been able to swim again, and I wanted to test how much damage the time off had done. As I swim, I can feel the reduction in power and I find it harder to catch my breath. 

When I reach the other end, I’m startled by a shadow and jump as I look up to see a man standing over me at the side of the pool.

“I didn’t think you’d heard me, you’re so focused when you swim.” Rin’s eyes twinkled as he spoke, and he smiled warmly as he leaned down to offer me a hand out. I sat on the edge of the pool, panting as I tried to catch my breath and Rin settled next to me. “You need to slow down.”

“I’m fine, I’m ready to swim properly again. I’ve waited long enough.” I struggled to speak between pants and Rin raised a brow at me. “What are you doing here?”

“I was jogging, saw you were still in here though the glass. I thought I’d check you weren’t killing yourself.” Rin looked pointedly at me.

I managed a slight chuckle in response. “I’m good, just checking my time.”

A devilish grin crossed his face and I felt my heart skip a beat. “Oh really? You want to check how you compare now huh?” He spoke with a smugness in his voice. “Why don’t you race me?”

“Right now?” I blurted. I’d never actually swam with Rin, it wasn’t typical for events to combine men and women, and with the age difference we’d never been in the same class either.

“Unless you’re too chicken?” Rin asked, rising to his feet and pulling a locker key from his pocket. 

“Never.” I growled back, and Rin broke out into an excited smile.

“Five minutes and you’re on chibi-ko” He cheered, running to the locker rooms.

When he returned in his swim gear, his demeanour had completely changed. He sauntered out, and made his way to the podium with a confidence I had seen many times at events. When he reached the podium, he stopped before stepping on and turned to face me. “We doing this for real?” He smirked, and I could suddenly understand why others were intimidated by him at competitions.

“Just don’t cry when I beat you.” I retorted, stepping up to the platform. Rin laughed, before stepping up beside me, and sliding his goggles on, taking a long moment to snap the strap. Hearing the sound made me smile without even looking at him, I had seen him do it so many times, there was something strangely comforting about it. I stared at the water, taking a deep breath to try to concentrate.

At the mark, we both dove in without hesitation. Rin surfaced before me, and was already tearing through the water in a manner I’d never seen anyone else emulate. There was something about his movements that was threatening, his speed was unnatural. I could understand why some referred to him as shark like, there was a predatory manner about him. I strained to catch up, pushing my body to it’s limits. I panted heavily and felt my muscles scream in protest, but I still kept fighting. It was exhausting, but I could feel that I was gaining on him. I flipped over to kick off from the other side and was pleased that I had focused practice on that as it gave me enough power to almost even up with him. I struggled to keep up and could feel my lungs burning, but I was determined to win. As we approached the end, Rin seemed to gain a burst of energy and stretched out of my reach. 

My hand slammed into the side and I stood to see Rin staring at me in bewilderment. I grabbed my phone and compared my time to his; he won. I hissed in frustration and cursed under my breath. “I still can’t beat you.” I whispered between pants.

By the time my eyes met his again, he had recovered his expression and was now looking confused. I blushed heavily, feeling his eyes on me and regretted the words that had slipped out. I sighed deeply, and stared at the water as I answered, too embarrassed to face him. “You’ve always been the measure of my ability. I used to watch all of your races back in Elementary, even back then you were_ incredible _. You were what made me want to swim, and what drove me to improve. I just...wanted to be able to beat you one day. I know it’s stupid!”

I could feel my face burning as I finished speaking, and couldn’t tear my eyes away from the water in the silence that followed. The water around me splashed and I glanced up to see Rin moving closer to me. He closed the distance between us, and stood leaning against the side of the pool, his arm brushing against mine. “It’s not stupid, I used to feel that way too.” He spoke gently.

“Really?” I looked at him with confusion, I couldn’t imagine Rin looking up to anyone. In all the time I’d known him, he’d always been so driven. Gou had always told me it was because he wanted to achieve his fathers dream, but I always felt like it had become more than that for him. The way he moved in the water, it was more than carrying someone else’s wishes. It looked like he belonged there, and he always seemed to have joy in what he was doing.

He sighed, but still smiled comfortably at me. “It was Haru. He’s always had this natural talent, I envied it. No matter how hard I worked, I just couldn’t beat what he had naturally. It drove me insane. That need to beat him led me to a lot of bad decisions.” He spoke with a raw honesty that I wasn’t accustomed to. Then, he stepped forward again, and I subconsciously leaned back so that my back met the side of the pool. He put a gentle hand to my cheek, and stared into my eyes with a concerned expression. “It’s good to have goals Yuko, you need something to drive you. But you have to put your health first. Please, don't let your swimming interfere with that.” There was a certain intensity to his words, and I felt my face begin to flush as I realised how little space there was left between us. I could feel the heat radiating off his body, and as we were in only swimwear, it felt horrifyingly intimate. Rin’s eyes never left my face but I could feel the tension building between us.

I quickly side stepped out from him to reassert some space, but as I moved to get out of the pool, Rin grabbed tightly around my wrist. “Yuko, wait.” I was pinned to the spot with embarrassment, unsure of whether to run or face him. I slowly turned, terrified of what might happen next. He stared at me for a heart stoppingly long time, and I could barely breathe. In a flash, his expression softened, as if he had changed his mind. “Call me if you need anything.”

I nodded frantically, before rushing out of the pool and into the changing room. I changed faster than I ever had and when I came back out, Rin was doing laps. I took the opportunity to creep out without any more awkward encounters.

Upon return to the house, all of the lights were out and it was clear that Ayaka had gone to bed for the night. Luna waited for me at the bottom of the stairs, her tail swishing in an act of aggravation. I quickly made my way to my room with her hot on my heels, clearly annoyed that she’d had to wait for me to go to bed. Once in the room, I flopped myself face first onto the bed and buried my face in my hands. _ That was so embarrassing! _

I stayed this way for a while, allowing my face the time to stop blushing. When I eventually tired of this, I changed into my pajamas and climbed into bed. Luna settled by my feet and I started to read a book, when my phone buzzed. 

**[10:30 pm]**

**From: Kou**

**To: Yuko**

**Hey, so I know that you said Onii-chan wouldn’t care if you came tomorrow, but he just text me to ask if you were…..so what do I tell him? X**

I read the text twice before burying my once again red face in pillows. Every time I saw Rin recently it seemed to result in some form of embarrassment. I couldn’t understand what was causing it, I felt so many things at once when I was around him, it was impossible to differentiate one thing from the other.

**[10:35 pm]**

**From: Yuko**

**To: Kou**

**I’ll go. See you there.**

I sent the text and threw my phone down on the bed in frustration. By the time I had picked up my book, the phone buzzed again.

**[10:36 pm]**

**From: Kou**

**To: Yuko**

**Great, don’t forget your cheerleader outfit! X**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me elsewhere!
> 
> Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PuddyGeeks  
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/PuddyGeeks  
Blog: https://puddygeeks.wordpress.com/  
Twitter: https://twitter.com/PuddyGeeks  
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Podcast: PuddyGetsGeeks on iTunes, Spotify, Player.FM, PodBean & Stitcher!


	9. One of us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed this and want me to write more, leave me a comment! Comments motivate me to work ;)
> 
> Okay, from this point on it gets a little canonically messy, as I forgot that Sasuke hadn't been introduced at this point, so just ignore the fact that I removed his dramatic entrance by having him follow Yuko around, oops!

I woke up early the next morning, and had breakfast that was left out by Ayaka, who was still in bed. Clearly Gou had told her about the event this morning. I looked out the window on my way to the door, and saw people walking past in coats and scarves. I quickly grabbed a blanket scarf, and an oversized, fleece lined leather aviator jacket, and wrapped myself up. I picked up my tattered grey rucksack and threw it over my shoulders, rushing out the door.

On my way to Samezuka academy, I cursed Iwatobi High for their stupid uniforms. My legs were freezing, and I rushed to the bus stop. I found Nagisa and Rei waiting, with Rei looking impatient whilst Nagisa sat on the bench, contently eating sweets. 

“Hey guys, I’m sorry, did I keep you waiting?” I called as I approached.

Rei turned to me with surprise. “Yuko-senpai! Not at all, we didn’t know you were coming. We were waiting for Haruka-senpai and Makoto-senpai!”

“Oh, good! I’d hate to keep you waiting.” I smiled. I waited for a while longer, watching Rei scold Nagisa for eating too much, before the others turned up and we made our way to Samezuka.

Gou was waiting for us with an excited look when we arrived, and she pulled me into a tight hug. “I’m so glad you came, Onii-chan will be so pleased!” She whispered, and I felt myself start to blush already.

I pulled back from her at the sound of Seijuro shouting, followed by a mass of groans. I glanced over to see the Iwatobi boys staring at a wall of exhausted looking Samezuka students. A familiar voice from behind grabs my attention. 

“It’s a 100m race, 100 times. It’s a Samezuka tradition to continue until someone beats the Captain.” Rin appears from behind me, drawing the attention of Gou and the team.

“Rin!” Haruka exclaims.

“Hey, thanks for coming.” Rin smiles, before turning to me. “Didn’t expect to see you Yuko, are you a part of the team now?”

“Oh, no I’m not-” I begin to stammer, before Gou barges me out of the way.

“I haven’t convinced her to join yet, she’s just here to support you Onii-chan!” She winks dramatically at him, before pushing me back in front of her with a devilish smile.

“Kou stop it!” I hiss, turning back to her with a burning hot face.

“Have you raced him yet Rin-chan?” Nagisa steps in, and winks at me when Rin isn’t looking.

I’m so relieved to have been given a distraction that I lose all focus on the conversation in front of me, instead glaring furiously at the side of Gou’s head. She completely refuses to acknowledge me, pretending to be completely fascinated with the conversation, but I know she can feel me staring at her. My attention is caught by the loud arrival of Seijuro. 

“Hey, you guys came to watch too? How about a race to mark the occasion?!” Seijuro was full of his usual overabundance of energy and enthusiasm. 

Before Gou or I could register what was happening, a relay between both teams had been agreed and Rei was being dragged to a changing room. Seijuro turned his attention to me. “Are you swimming today Mori-san?”

“I’m the only female swimmer surrounded by countless men, I think I’ll pass.” I answered sarcastically.

“I guess we can’t all be tempted as easily as your friend.” He laughed, indicating to Haruka. At that, Seijuro turned his attention to gathering the two relay teams.

“Don’t forget to cheer for me Yuko.” Rin’s voice startled me, his words were spoken slowly and he was so close behind me that I could feel his breath on my neck. I gulped heavily and felt my cheeks burning, but before I could crack a wise retort he was joining the teams.

I rushed to sit down on the bench with Gou, who looked enormously amused. “You’re very pink Yuko. Did my brother have anything interesting to say?” She spoke smugly.

“You shut your meddling mouth.” I hissed and she snorted with laughter.

“Whatever you say tomato face.” She giggled whilst she spoke. “Can I just ask who you’re going to cheer for? Technically you’re not on a team, so you don’t have to take a side like me…” Her face was filled with mischief and I stared at the ground in an effort to ignore the question. 

The race passed quickly, with Gou and I standing at the side of the pool to cheer alongside Amakata-sensei. Gou and I agreed to both cheer for Iwatobi, as the Samezuka already had plenty of support, and we were still proud of their performance when Samezuka’s team won. We stood with Haruka and the others, congratulating them on their efforts, when Seijuro called the team to attention, forming a line of third years which faced a line of the rest of the team.

“All of you have really worked hard.” Seijuro spoke with a commanding presence that I hadn’t heard from him before, and I was finally able to see how he lead the team. “Today marks the retirement of us third years. All of us leave here with no regrets.” As he spoke, I found my mind drifting. I looked at the Iwatobi team around me.  _ No regrets? If I left school without joining another team, would I have no regrets? _ I could still hear Seijuro talking, but I wasn’t focused on his words, and instead found myself nervously watching Rin. “Matsuoka! Starting tomorrow you are the new Captain.” Seijuro spoke in a stern tone, and Rin stepped forward with a reluctant expression. “Take good care of my team.” Seijuro softened his tone, and smiled.

I cheered loudly and started clapping, which set off the rest of the Iwatobi team, and then the boys that were lined up. I noticed Rin subtly glare over at me, and I simply cheered again in response, even louder this time. 

When we exited the gym, Gou and I walked slightly ahead of the others, who were still focused on a detailed analysis of their relay. “So, you may have tried to hide it by cheering for Iwatobi during the race, but you were cheering pretty hard for my brother when he was announced as new Captain, Yuko!” Her words were teasing, but she could hardly contain the excitement in her face.

I rolled my eyes and tried to suppress any sign of embarrassment. “He’s done a lot to help me out Kou, and he looked really unsure of himself. I wanted to give him a boost.”

Gou raised an eyebrow and looked thoroughly pleased with herself. “He looked unsure of himself? Sounds like you’re paying a lot of attention to him?”

“Don’t twist my words!” I whined, turning around to try to escape her. Gou simply rushed around me to get back in front of me. “Look, he’s a good person, he deserves good things. I’m pleased for him. Don’t make it weird.” I avoided her gaze as I spoke.

Gou chucked, but when I met her eyes, she seemed touched by my words. 

***

Back at school, Seijuro’s words had been playing on my mind. I thought about swimming even more than usual, and was finding it difficult to concentrate during my classes. Although I was terrified of returning to the sport, I couldn’t help but feel that I would regret giving up. Everytime I started to swim again, things seemed to fall apart in my life, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to trust another team. The thoughts swirled around in my mind in a constant storm, and I ended up dragging myself to the school pool, where the Iwatobi team seemed to be arguing about the club recruitment assembly which had happened earlier today.

“Yuko! You came!” Nagisa wailed running over to hug me, drawing the attention of the other members, who bounded over eagerly. “See, our performance worked, the new members are coming!” He cheered, with his usual overenthusiasm. Makoto sheepishly made his way over, and peeled Nagisa from my side with an apologetic smile.

“Oh yeah, it was definitely your performance.” I replied, in a dead pan manner, before meeting eyes with Gou. “Honestly Kou, only you could come up with something so cringy!” I snort laughed as I recalled the muscle display that Gou had somehow convinced the team to do, on stage, in front of the entire school. I sat in the audience holding my nose to suppress my laughter, whilst most of the audience simply stared in awkward disbelief. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the boys, but I mostly just felt relieved that I hadn’t joined early enough to be bullied into it. They stood in uncomfortable positions now as I recounted it, and Gou pouted in annoyance. “I felt so bad for you, I thought I’d better come and sign up so you hadn’t completely humiliated yourselves for nothing.”

At this, they all suddenly chirped up, and Makoto had to grab Nagisa to prevent him from jumping on me. “Are you really going to join us Yuko?” Makoto spoke gently, and with an encouraging smile.

“I think it’s about time.” I smiled back.

“We would be honoured to have you, Yuko-senpai!” Rei startled me with his formality and enthusiasm once again, and I couldn’t help but laugh. “And I am pleased that our beautiful muscle display encouraged you to join us!”

This time, I laughed loudly and clutched my stomach. Once I had caught my breath, I wiped my eyes and dropped to a calmer tone. “In all seriousness, I thought about what Captain Mikoshiba said back at Samezuka this morning, about having no regrets. I’m not sure that I feel ready to be part of a team, and I’m terrified of returning to competitions, but I don’t want to let fear dominate my life any more. If I left swimming, I think I would regret that for the rest of my life, and that’s worse than any performance anxiety.” I spoke in a frantic mess as I neared the end, and had to take a deep breath to calm myself. “I want to join you, please. If you’ll have me.”

Gou was the first to rush forward, and pulled me into a full hug. At first, I was taken aback and struggled with the contact, but I forced myself to calm down and reluctantly hugged back. “Of course we’ll have you dummy! I thought you’d never ask!” She pulled back with tears in her eyes, but kept her hands on my shoulders. “But, I did order you a uniform just in case!” She winked cheerfully, and pulled me into the club room, yelling at the boys not to come in.

“I can’t believe you ordered one when I specifically told you I wasn’t joining.” I crossed my arms and tried to look annoyed, but I couldn’t contain the entertained look that spread across my face.

Gou didn’t even acknowledge that I was speaking, instead rooting around in boxes until she pulled out the blue tracksuit and yellow tshirt. “There you go! Try them on!” She practically threw them at me, and jumped up and down in excitement. I gripped the uniform, still in packaging and looked at her reluctantly. “You need to check that it fits, and make sure you try it with your swimsuit underneath!” I raised a quizzical eyebrow at her. “We’ve never had a girl member before, the guys manage fine with their shorts underneath, but you wear a full figure covering suit. We need to make sure you have space for it, and that the trousers don’t slide down!”

I smiled warmly at her. She always wanted to take care of me, and I appreciated her thinking ahead, even if I felt like there was some hint in her words that she has thought about getting me into a smaller swimsuit. I groaned, but nodded in agreement before shooing her out of the room. I was glad that I carried a suit in my bag just in case, and slipped into it, before pulling the uniform on top. Somehow, Gou had managed to guess my measurements perfectly, and the tracksuit fit well. I looked at myself in the mirror, and felt strange in the white and blue outfit. I turned to see the Iwatobi letting on the back, and couldn’t quite believe that I had been accepted somewhere else. I stepped out of the club room to cheers from the waiting team, and felt myself squirm awkwardly. The team were full of enthusiasm, and I noticed even Haruka giving a subtle smile.

“Okay that’s enough fuss please!” I cringed, covering my face. “What were you all talking about anyway?”

“I was suggesting ideas to recruit new members. She was refusing them all.” Haruka spoke in his usual tone, shooting a bored look at Gou.

“I have an idea!” Nagisa chirped, trying to cut through the tension. “We could parade through the school halls in our swimsuits?!” 

Gou looked as if she had died and gone to heaven, whilst the others simply looked as though they might die. Her face lit up pink and her eyes sparkled as she spoke. “That could work!” She squealed, covering her face.

“No way! Rei yelled, and it wasn’t long before him and Gou were slipping into an argument over it.

“Absolutely not!” I snapped, drawing the attention of the whole team. Their wide eyed stares made me self-conscious, and I took a moment to soften my tone before speaking again. “Besides, I think you’ve paraded yourself quite enough already.” The boys cringed again, and Gou simply looked disappointed. I stared at the murky green pool whilst I thought. “Have you spoken to your club manager about opening the pool early?”

***

I waited in the library whilst the rest of the team went to Amakata-sensei to appeal for help. I suggested that they went without me and didn’t mention that I had joined the team if they were going to work the “needing to attract new members” angle. Whilst I waited, I thought about Rin and how uncertain he had looked when he was announced as new Captain. I found it hard to imagine him feeling insecure, or that he wasn’t the right choice. He was an incredible athlete, and easily the most supportive person I’d ever met. He inspired others without even needing to meet them, and he was willing to put time into people that he thought could improve. In my mind, there couldn’t be a better candidate. I pulled my phone out of my bag and decided to message him first for once. I typed my message, deleted it and started again several times before I could decide on what to say. I didn’t want to sound like a fangirl, or to sound fake, but I wanted to give him a boost and an opportunity to talk to me if he felt insecure. He had listened to my problems so many times, and I wanted to return the favour.

**[14:25 pm]**

**From: Yuko**

**To: Rin**

**Hey, I didn’t get a chance to say it in person earlier, but congratulations on becoming Captain! I couldn’t think of anyone more deserving.**

I faltered with my thumb over the send button, and eventually had to close my eyes whilst I forced myself to press send. As soon as it was gone, I regretted it. I stared at the phone in a cold sweat, wishing there was a way of getting a message back, and could feel myself descending into panic when my phone buzzed with a response.

**[14:29 pm]**

**From: Rin**

**To: Yuko**

**Wow, that’s high praise from the girl who almost beat me the other night.**

I read the message and laughed, cradling my phone as if it were the most precious thing I owned. Every time he messaged me, it made my stomach tingle and I couldn’t stop myself from openly smiling. In an instant, my phone was torn from my hands and over my head, and I whipped around to find Gou gripping it. She read the message with wide eyes, before fixing me with a smug look. “ I knew it! You can’t stop praising him!” She was practically ecstatic with her discovery. “And what happened the other night Yuko?” She giggled, taking a seat next to me and practically pinning me down to stop me from escaping.

“Nothing  _ happened _ , stop making a scene!” I tried to snatch my phone back, but Gou was too quick, and fixed me with a disbelieving stare. I sighed defeatedly. “I went for a swim at Samezuka, as you know.” I spoke with an annoyance and she rolled her eyes, gesturing for me to continue. “Matsuoka-san came to check on me-”

“You know he hates that you call him that.” She groaned dramatically. “But continue! What happened next?!”

“He challenged me to a race, which he won, and is being very gracious about the difference in our times.” I finished and held my hand out for my phone. Gou continued to look at me in anticipation, and when I didn’t speak anymore, she looked deflated.

“Is that all? There’s nothing  _ else _ you want to tell me?” Her tone was expectant, as if she was alluding to something, and I started to worry what she might know. I shook my head in confusion and she groaned. “I can’t believe you’re holding out on me Yuko! The guys said that Onii-chan almost kissed you.”

My face flushed with heat and my eyes shot open, despite my attempt to control my reaction. “What?!” I exclaimed, my voice sounded scratchy and high. “How do they know that?!”

“Oh my god I knew it!!” Gou was practically bouncing in her seat now, and pulled me closer to her for full examination. “They saw you both through the window, how could you not tell me that my brother almost kissed you,  **this is huge** !”

“B-because he didn’t! Hell, Kou calm down!” I waved my hands frantically as I spoke, desperately trying to quieten her down before anyone heard. “The others just misunderstood,  _ nothing happened _ ! Besides, why the hell are the Iwatobi boys stalking me now? I thought Matsuoka-san cancelled my guard duty?” I couldn’t decide my emotions between annoyed and devastatingly embarrassed. I knew I felt like Rin had something else to say that night when he grabbed my wrist, but I couldn’t understand how anyone could have interpreted it this way.  _ Unless...did I misunderstand? _

“I don’t know, apparently they were scoping out the Samezuka campus for something, and then decided to see if Onii-chan was still training and they saw you!” I rolled my eyes, and tried to decide what to say next to stop her screaming, but instead heard my phone buzz. I froze in horror, as Gou jumped out of my reach to read what had just come through. “It’s Onii-chan! He wants to see you, tonight!”

“Kou give me the phone!” I yelled, and she ran to the other side of the bench. By this point, Gou was almost hysterical with excitement, and I was desperate to stop her from getting carried away. “Please, come on, at least tell me what he said!”

“I’m going for a jog tonight, join me?” Gou read in a deep voice, and did some ridiculous impression of Rin that would have made me laugh any other time. Right now though, she had the ability to destroy my life at the touch of a button. “I’m gonna say yes!” She squealed, and I tried to get around the bench to snatch my phone.

“DONT! SAY! ANYTHING!” I yelled, chasing her in circles around the bench and unfortunately caught the entertained looks of anyone in the area. Gou wasn’t in the least bit threatened, and laughed like a maniac as she somehow managed to run and text at the same time. “Kou stop, please don’t text him!”

“Too late, I’m gonna send it!” She cried, and in a panic, I vaulted over the bench and snatched the phone out of her hands. “Sent!” She squealed as she fell backwards onto the bench with a satisfied look.

I stared at the screen in horror, as the received tick appeared next to Gou’s message. 

**[14:37 pm]**

**From: Yuko**

**To: Rin**

**You’re on, just try to keep up. **

I groaned and put my head in my hands, and Gou continued to laugh next to me. 

“Don’t stress Yuko, I know my brother, that will get him all fired up!” She spoke with an excitement, fist pumping. I groaned in frustration, and felt my phone buzz almost immediately after.

**[14:38 pm]**

**From: Rin**

**To: Yuko**

**Is that how it is? Meet me at 8 by the halls.**

I held a hand over my mouth in horror, and Gou squealed as she read over my shoulder. “See! I told you he’d love it! Now he has another chance to kiss you!” She kicked her feet in excitement and I buried my face in my lap. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	10. Confide in me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed this and want me to write more, leave me a comment! Comments motivate me to work ;)

I approached the Samezuka campus with butterflies in my stomach, thinking about the text exchange that Gou had caused earlier on. I couldn’t explain why, but I’d taken a ridiculously long time to decide on an outfit, which seemed pointless for a run. Usually, I’d go out in any old pair of sweatpants, but I wasn’t usually meeting Rin. I’d decided on a grey sports bra, black sports leggings with sheer sections and a grey pair of trainers, with a black hoodie that I kept zipped up. 

As I approached the halls, I could see Rin waiting for me with an amused look. He wore a black high neck top with yellow accents, grey sweatpants and red trainers.  He had his hair tied back in a scruffy ponytail, and I couldn’t help but find it cute. “So, you’re challenging me now Chibi-ko?” He spoke with a fascinated tone, but had a cheeky twinkle in his eyes.

I sighed as I approached, unable to continue the confident persona that Gou had set up for me. “It wasn’t me that texted you, it was Kou.” I rolled my eyes as I spoke.

Rin looked crestfallen for a moment, and I felt myself panic. “Oh…”

We stood around awkwardly, whilst Rin stared at the ground and kicked his feet. Something clicked in my mind, and I realised why he seemed upset. “Not all of the messages! Just the challenge! I texted you about becoming Captain, I wanted you to know that I was proud.” I was so focused on clarifying the confusion that I said too much, and quickly covered my mouth.

Rin chuckled to himself. “Well, that’s cool of you. Come on, let’s run.”

I nodded and let Rin lead the way, keeping a comfortable pace with him. “So, how’s life as the new Captain?” I asked, trying to sound casual. Once I’d calmed down from my earlier trauma with Gou, I realised that Rin might be taking me up on my offer to talk. I had a feeling that he wasn’t as thrilled with becoming Captain as everyone expected him to be, and I tried to give him an opportunity to vent.

“Yeah, it’s great.” The way he spoke felt like a well practised, forced answer, and I didn’t reply. I let the silence hang, with just our footsteps pounding the pavement, and gave him a moment to decide if he wanted to tell me how he really felt. He sighed. “I feel like I should be thrilled.” He admitted carefully, and his expression said that he was still deciding how to explain himself.

“But you’re not?” I asked with an understanding look.

For a moment, he looked guilty, then frustrated and he tutted before he spoke. “A year ago, I would’ve been. But there’s a lot of things that are different since then.” We ran for a while without speaking, my ponytail swished behind me. I allowed him the time to think about what he wanted to say and didn’t pressure a response from him. “I guess, I just feel like I’m not sure if I deserve it.”

“Why would you think that?” I kept my tone even, but I was shocked at his admission.

“Last year, I messed up. I mentioned before that I was in kind of a mess when I got back to Iwatobi, and I made a lot of dumb decisions right?” I nodded in response. “Well, one of them was that I defected from my team in a really important tournament to swim in a relay with Haru and the others.” He didn’t meet my eyes as he spoke, and I could see from his expression that he was still beating himself up.

“Matsuoka-san, you-”

Rin skidded to a halt and seemed to be frustrated. I stumbled to a stop and turned back with a look of confusion. “Yuko, I know you’re being guarded, and I get it. But seriously, can you stop with the Matsuoka crap?” He spat, and I widened my eyes. When he looked up at me, his expression softened and his posture relaxed. “I’m sorry, it’s just that I feel like you know me better than that now, and I already have a whole team of people referring to me as Captain, so could you call me Rin?”

“I’m sorry.” I smiled, and he fell into pace with me to start jogging again. “Rin, you know you can mess up right?” He looked over at me with wide eyes, and I blushed. I knew his surprise was in reaction to my words, but the use of his first name still felt strangely intimate to me. “It’s okay, you don’t have to be perfect all the time. You might be insanely talented, but you’re still just a person, and you’re going to mess up sometimes.”

He scoffed at the talented comment, and was now speaking in a exasperated tone. “I didn’t just mess up, I abandoned my team. There should be some kind of consequence for that! Not a reward.” He growled the last words.

“Have you spoken to Captain Mikoshiba about this?” I asked, still not able to address him as anything other than Captain. 

Rin looked particularly annoyed now and sped up as we turned a corner. I was taken by surprise and took a few moments to catch back up to his pace, but managed to match him. “He told me to quit my whining. Reminded me that after the event, I told him I’d take responsibility for my actions. I just can’t see how he thinks leading the team that I abandoned is taking responsibility, why should they follow me?”

I thought before answering him, and reflected on what Makoto had told me about Rin and Haruka’s different reasons for swimming. Although I had always understood Rin’s motivation and goals, I had also always been able to see that he loved it in a way that was about more than just the outcome. And now, I’d seen how he cared for his friends, no matter what team he was on. “Why did you join the relay?”

The question seemed to catch Rin off guard, and he stopped running, leaning with his hands on his knees to catch his breath. I was relieved of the break, the increased pace had been a struggle and now that we weren’t moving I could fully scrutinise his expressions. “I wanted to connect with swimming in a way that was about more than just times, competitions and achievements. I needed to remind myself of that feeling of swimming with friends, like I used to.” He spoke thoughtfully, staring up at the sky over my shoulder.

I smiled warmly, and considered my next words carefully. “Rin, I think you just answered your own question.” His eyes darted back down to me in confusion. “If you ask me, leading a team that you ‘abandoned’ in your words is the ultimate accountability. It forces you to face the people, to coach them and support them one on one, rather than concentrating on yourself.” Rin seemed to be absorbing everything I said, and so I continued to share my thoughts. “Your Captain seemed to know all of you better than you even realised, and if he saw in you what I did when you used to swim in relays before, he knew that you had exactly what it takes to lead others. You’re able to see past the goals and the times, you’ve worked past your own stuff and you understand the importance of still loving what you do. If you tried, I think you’ll find you can guide people to find that same balance.”

Rin stared at me in amazement, as if he was having some kind of revelation and I smiled. I was glad to think that I could help, even a little. “Besides, you’re kind, and supportive, and able to give a push when it’s needed. And you’re pretty much unbeatable in the water. Sounds like a pretty winning combination, doesn’t it?” I added with a chuckle.

“Unbeatable, huh?” He finally seemed to have snapped out of his trance, and looked down at me with a smirk. 

“Of course, that’s what you’d focus on!” I scoffed, starting to jog again. 

Rin quickly caught up to me, and smiled over at me. “Thanks Yuko.” His words were soft and genuine, and I found myself blushing. I realised that I was now sweating from Rin’s earlier burst of speed, and so unzipped my hoodie to get some air. I immediately noticed Rin’s eyes on me, and could swear that I caught him bite his lip, before he shook his head and tried to change the subject. “So, I heard a rumour that Iwatobi found a new recruit.”

I groaned out loud, and rolled my eyes. “Word travels fast around here I guess!”

He laughed, before fixing me with a pleased expression. “So it’s true! I’m glad, it’s about time you were back in a team. And that’s a team that will take care of you.”

I smiled, despite the annoyance. “Yeah, I get that impression too.”

Rin slowed down, and I glanced around to realise we were back at the Samezuka campus. This was the fastest a run had ever passed for me, and I could only think it was the company that had made the difference. We stopped outside the gates, and Rin was looking at me strangely. “Besides, if they don’t, you know I will.” He smirked, and I felt a hot blush spreading to my face. He winked, and patted me on the shoulder before heading back to halls. 

***

The next day at school, I was dreading bumping into Gou. I did my best to try to avoid her, not wanting to face a barrage of questions that I was sure would come about my time with Rin. Fortunately, the swim club had received some good news, which seemed to have distracted her for the time being. We had been given approval to empty the pool of murky water, and start cleaning. Although I didn’t relish the cleaning process, I was looking forward to having a pool on school grounds to use. We spent the morning scrubbing the pool, and the team filled me in on their conversation with Amakata-sensei from the day before. 

“Amakata-sensei told us that Coach Sasabe is re-opening Iwatobi Swim Club!” Nagisa almost burst with excitement at the chance to tell me about it.

“I think it could be a great option to make use of while it’s still too cold, but I think we need to show potential members our pool first.” Makoto spoke calmly as usual, whilst throwing Nagisa a look that told him to keep scrubbing. 

I stood in a hideous red tracksuit, which was the school P.E. uniform and scrubbed the green pool with a broom. This was definitely not what I imagined myself doing when I returned to a swim club, but I appreciated that in Japan, they encouraged students to do things themselves. “Indeed, even if we don’t have approval to fill it with water yet.” Rei agreed with Makoto. 

“Don't worry! I’m sure Amakata-sensei will take care of it!” Gou cheered from the side of the pool.

“Hey, what are you doing stood up there whilst we scrub?” I complained, glaring up at her. I could hear that the boys were still discussing their hopes for recruiting new members, but my focus was now on Gou’s skiving antics.

“I’m the manager, I don’t have to scrub!” She teased, sticking her tongue out at me. 

“Oh, of course yeah. Hey Kou, could you pass me some more pool cleaner?” She nodded, and once she had turned her back to pick up the supplies, I rushed over to the hose that was sitting in the pool and switched it to full. I pointed it straight at Gou, blasting the back of her tracksuit. She screamed, and dropped the supplies, before spinning round to glare at me.

“Oh no! You’re all wet!” I gasped, and noticed the boys watching us and struggling to stifle their laughter. “Well I guess you may as well come down and scrub with us now.” I spoke in the most authentic tone that I could manage, adding a shrug for emphasis. Gou opened her mouth to object, and I sprayed her front too, earning a burst of laughter from the rest of the team. “Come on princess, get down here with your subjects before I completely soak you.”

“I hate you.” She huffed, struggling to climb down the ladder and punched me feebly on the arm.

“Aw, I love you too honey.” I teased. “Consider that payback for yesterday.” As soon as the words fell out of my mouth, I regretted them. 

Gou’s eyes lit up at the reminder, and she looked mischievous. “Oh of course, did you guys know that Onii-chan invited Yuko out last night?” She called out, causing the others to drop their brooms and rush over, except for Haruka, who simply stopped sweeping and looked over with mild interest.

“Okay you’re making it sound bigger than it was, he asked if I wanted to join him for a run.” I said bashfully, trying to play it down. 

“Oh really?” Makoto commented. “That’s unusual, he’s never invited any of us for that.”

I cleared my throat and shifted uncomfortably, feeling awkward at their scrutiny. “I think he just wanted to talk, I texted him to congratulate him about making Captain and I guess he saw it as an opportunity to vent.” I explained, trying not to divulge anything that Rin wouldn’t want me to.

“He spoke to you about his feelings?!” Nagisa gasped, and I looked around at the others who all seemed equally shocked.

“It’s not that big of a deal. Rin’s been there to listen to me, I just wanted to return the favour and-” I tried my best to brush it off, but Gou grabbed my shoulders from behind and stared at me with eyes like saucers.

“What did you just call him?” She stared at me with a ridiculous intensity, and her fingers dug into my shoulders. _ Shit _. I knew I had messed up now, as it was so quiet that you could hear a penny drop. 

“He _ asked _ me to!” I exclaimed, getting defensive now. I looked frantically around, considering whether I could make it to a ladder before any of them caught up to me.

“But you never have!” She gasped, her face moving from shocked to thoroughly pleased. “He’s acting so strangely lately, don’t you think? She asked, looking around at the others.

“Look, we just caught up, please stop making this a drama. He was pleased to hear that I’d joined the team, that’s a good thing, right?” I was now desperately clinging to things to distract them from answering Gou’s question. 

“That would explain the text I had from him this morning.” Makoto muttered, but not quietly enough to stop everyone from looking at him. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, and gave me an apologetic look before speaking to the team. “He said, look after Yuko, and let me know if there are any problems you can’t deal with.”

“I’ve never seen him so protective.” I jumped at Haruka’s cold voice, not having heard him approach the group. Everyone was staring at me, and I could feel the butterflies in my stomach from Rin’s words.

“It does seem awfully out of character.” Rei commented, holding a hand to his chin. 

I threw my broom down, deciding I’d had enough of their commentary and made my way to the ladder. “Whatever, you guys can think whatever you want. I’ll see you later.”

***

I spent the day in a trance, trying not to let the words of the Iwatobi team sink in. I struggled through classes, and counted down the minutes to the end of the day. I couldn’t think too much about what they’d said, or I’d never be able to spend time with Rin again, and I didn’t want that. I received a message from Gou that the team would be going to Iwatobi Swim Club after school, as Coach Sasabe had asked to speak to them, and she asked if I could come along to say hi.

Once the day was over, I made my way there to find them discussing methods to find new members. As I made my way in, Coach Sasabe was leading them down the hall and Gou gestured for me to hurry. I sped up my pace and caught up to her. She linked arms with me in an implied apology as we made our way to the pool area.

We were shocked to find that the pool was finished and seemed to be ready to use. We all stared in wonder, and I found myself smiling at the familiarity of it all. Although I learned to swim here, I didn’t really spend much time with Rin and the other older boys, as even the swimming classes were separated by age. I had seen Nagisa a few times, but I mostly just hung out with Gou. I came with her to the events to cheer for Rin together though. I’d spent a great deal of my childhood here, and it felt strange to see it restored.

“I got the pool up and running so you could use it before we open.” Coach Sasabe cheered, and Nagisa lept on his back as he all cheered our thanks. “Use this to train hard and show us some good results during the public tournament next week!” We were all distracted from his words at the sound of Haruka stripping and diving headfirst into the pool. 

Whilst the others laughed and prepared to get in, Coach Sasabe approached me. “Well well, another familiar face!” He smiled, and I fidgeted awkwardly. “You were Gou-chan’s little friend?”

“Mori, Yuko.” I introduced myself, but kept my gaze at my feet.

“Ah yes, that’s the one. From what I hear you’re quite the swimmer now!” He laughed in an exaggerated manner.

“Thank you, for this.” I managed to spit out some words, but was still finding it excruciatingly difficult to face the coach from my childhood. I hated meeting people who had known me back then, who remembered me as timid and broken. Not that I wasn’t still kind of broken now, but I was working on the timid.

He smiled encouragingly. “Hey, you kids are my life’s work! You feel free to use this pool as much as you need, and give them hell!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me elsewhere!
> 
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Podcast: PuddyGetsGeeks on iTunes, Spotify, Player.FM, PodBean & Stitcher!


	11. Cherry Blossoms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed this and want me to write more, leave me a comment! Comments motivate me to work ;)

Our time for training passed in the blink of an eye, and before I knew it, I was walking up to the public tournament wearing an Iwatobi uniform. My legs shook as I walked, and I was filled with nerves, but I could also feel some excitement underneath all of my panic. As we approach the building, I notice a cluster of Samezuka jackets, with Rin speaking to the group. Before I could react, Nagisa shouted out. 

“Rin-chan!” He screamed, waving wildly to draw his attention. Rin looked over in an annoyed manner, and tried to resume his focus in talking to his team.

I elbowed Nagisa to stop him from shouting again and he yelped, causing the others to laugh. “Nagisa! Rin’s the Captain now, you can’t just yell at him any time!” I sigh, exasperated.

Nagisa continues to complain about this for the rest of the way in, even commenting that he expected Rin to be more threatening as a Captain. I roll my eyes and laugh. The others have been close to Rin for much longer, who am I to correct their opinions? Once inside, we meet up with Gou, who is waiting with Amakata-sensei and Coach Sasabe, who tells us he is also participating today. Gou is busy staring at him in absolute disgust in his swimwear and I find it hard not to laugh at her expression. 

We settle at the top of the stadium, behind all the seats, and stare down at the pool. Gou comments that the relaxed atmosphere is a relief compared to prefecturals, but it doesn’t take her long to divert to complaining about muscles and I roll my eyes at her. The boys start to discuss their disappointment at a lack of relay, and that they’re excited for the relay at prefecturals. As they wander off to find the changing rooms to drop off Haruka, I hang back with Gou and once they’re gone she looks at me quizzically.

“What’s wrong Yuko?” She tilts her head at me in a gesture of concern.

“I…” I take a moment to think before expressing my thoughts. “Are they going to expect me to participate in the relay at prefecturals?” I ask nervously.

Gou sighs thoughtfully. “I’m not sure, they’re so unpredictable with the relay, they get so dramatic around it. But look, if it’s not something you’re ready for, don’t worry, they’ll understand.” She tries to smile reassuringly, but I’m still slightly unnerved. 

Gou and I make our way to the railings and save a space for the others. Once the first race is announced, everyone gathers together and we prepare to cheer them on. Rin and Haruka make their way out and set up in adjoining lanes and I feel myself becoming conflicted on who to cheer for. Now that I’m officially a part of the Iwatobi team, it feels like I should be supporting Haruka, but I feel like their rivalry is so strong, it would be an insult to Rin. As I’m in the middle of an existential crisis, Nagisa leaned over to whisper in my ear. “We’ll cheer for Iwatobi, Gou-chan usually cheers for Rin-chan so you can join her if you want.” As I’m about to smile at him for his kindness, he whispers even quieter. “Plus, he’ll find it hot if you cheer his name, everyone else calls him Captain or senpai”

I pulled back and stare at him in shock. “Nagisa!” I gasp, but he simply winks cheekily back. I was shaken by his words, and my face flushes a vivid red. I stare down at where Rin and Haruka are stepping on to the podiums, just in time to see Rin searching the crowd. His eyes meet mine and he breaks into a relieved smile. He looks so pleased, and my heart skips a beat. As they both bend into the starting position, waiting to dive, people around me called out and I feel myself getting caught up in the tension of the moment.

“Onii-chan!” Gou cheers with a beaming smile, and the Iwatobi boys shout out to Haru.

“Rin!” I cry out before I’ve realised what I’m doing and am immediately embarrassed as the others all turn to me in shock. Nagisa smirks at me, and as his words replay in my head I find myself blushing furiously. 

The whistle blows and they both launch into the water and tear ahead of the other swimmers. We watch in shock as they seem to be in perfect time with each other, before Rin pulls ahead and I find myself cheering out for him again, whilst the boys shout encouragement for Haruka. Once they’ve completed the turn and are heading for the finish, Haruka seems to speed up to catch Rin and I can tell from his movements that Rin is thrilled to have true competition. Whilst watching them swim, I feel like I understand their rivalry more and I can see how Haruka motivates Rin to try his best. The audience is stunned as they both clock in at the exact same moment and an announcement declares that they have both set a tournament record. Our group jump up and down in excitement and our enthusiasm sets off the crowd.

Suddenly, it dawns on me that the next race is the women's freestyle and I rushed down to the changing rooms before the team can say anything to freak me out. I pace around in my suit, hugging the Iwatobi jacket and feeling my nerves building. I knew there was a strong chance that there were Nishi swimmers here, and although I was pretty sure they wouldn’t dare to approach me now, their presence alone could be enough to throw me. The announcement for the race is called and I walk out to the pool area as if I am walking to my death.

I step out in the blindingly bright stadium and my heart hammers in my ears. The crowd is cheering as I make my way to the podium, and we all stop to take off our jackets. I’m relieved to hear no whistles this time, unlike the warmup event. My attention is caught by a flash of blue and purple, and I’m horrified to see a Nishi jacket land in the box next to a podium. I lean back to get a view and am met with the arrogant face of Hayashi Fuka, a freestyle swimmer from Nishi who was my toughest competitor in the tryouts. I quickly tuck myself back into the line and stare at the water with wide eyes. In an attempt to calm myself down, I look up at the bleachers, and although I see the Iwatobi team, I can’t find Rin’s face in the Samezuka crowd. He must not have been able to get out of the changing rooms in time after his race. I feel my legs begin to tremble and as we’re told to step onto the podium, I feel like I could fall. I bend down to crouch and struggle to keep my grip on the platform as I wait for the whistle.

I can hear a few faint cheers in the crowd, and think I may hear my name, but I can’t tell over the screaming thoughts rushing around in my mind. I take a deep breath and try to calm myself, but it’s no use. My hands tremble as they grip the front of the podium, and I briefly consider running back to the changing rooms.

A voice carries across the pool at a volume louder than anyone in the stadium, and I look up to see Rin standing with the Iwatobi team. I can tell that he is still soaking, his hair dripping down his face and his Samezuka jacket is half hanging off awkwardly, but he doesn’t seem to care. “You’ve got this Yuko!” He yells, his voice full of confidence. A wide smile spreads across my face and I feel my legs start to slow. As I calm, I realise I haven’t adjusted my googles yet, and quickly pull them down, taking a moment to pull the strap back in an overexaggerated snap. Something about the action gives me a rush of confidence, and as I bring my hands back to the podium, I can feel the power building from my chest. 

The whistle blows and I dive into the water with more strength than I’ve done since I returned to Japan. I surface miles ahead of the other swimmers and take off through the water. My legs kick violently and my arms stretch out with a strength that doesn’t feel like it’s mine. I keep my focus on the other end, and every time an element of panic crosses my mind, I picture Rin screaming encouragement. For a moment, I’m not sure if I’m imagining it or if I can really hear him. I reach the other end and turn into a powerful kick, launching myself back into action. I feel my muscles ache, but I force the feeling down and focus on the finish line. I can’t even sense the other swimmers in my peripherals, but I can still picture Hayashi’s arrogant face, and it drives me to keep fighting. I stretch my fingers out to slam into the end and jump up with a gasp. I have to grip the side to stop myself from falling over, as my legs feel like they are about to fall off, but I keep my focus on the board. Next to my name, the 1 flashes and I find myself smiling. An announcement comes over the tannoy before I’ve even had a moment to look at my time. “The swimmer in lane two, Mori-kun, has just set a tournament record.” 

I can hardly believe my ears, as I stare up at the board in disbelief. I didn’t beat Rin’s time still, but I was closer than I’d ever been, and I’d certainly never set a record before. Rin’s triumphant shouts ring out, and he sets off the crowd in applause. “Yes Yuko, yes! That’s my girl!” I stand still shell-shocked, but smile at the thought of Gou’s response to that, glad that for once it was him taking the teasing instead of me.

The rest of the day speeds past, and we leave feeling victorious, having all qualified for the next event. As Coach Sasabe and Amakata-sensei showered us with praise, I noticed Haruka sneaking away from the group to stop Rin, separating him from the passing Samezuka team. Whilst I was staring at them, trying to work out what was being said, Gou linked her arm through mine and led me away from the group. Once we were far enough away, she sat me down on a bench and placed a reassuring hand on my arm. “I can tell that you care about Onii-chan, and we all do too. So I’m gonna tell you something personal about him, because I feel like you’ll want to be involved in the surprise we’re giving him later.”

I blinked back at her, trying to process everything she had just said. “Wait, surprise?”

“Yes, so you have to keep it quiet!” She hissed. She stared at the ground in silence for a while, and seemed like she was trying to decide where to start. I waited patiently, glancing around at our surroundings to check that the boys hadn’t come looking for us yet. Gou sighed deeply, before finally speaking in a subdued manner. “When Onii-chan was little, swimming was his life. He’s always been so focused on his dream, you remember?” I nodded softly. “It was really hard for him when he left for Australia, and when he returned to Iwatobi, he was different. It took him a long time to settle back in, and he was angry for a while.” She glanced up at me with an uncertain look, and her eyes seemed to be filled with pain. 

“It’s okay, he’s mentioned a few times that he wasn’t himself when he came home.” I spoke softly, hoping to relax her.

“Really?” Gou sounded surprised, and so I nodded back. “Well, it’s good that he can talk to you.” She smiled warmly, and I felt uncomfortable with her words. “Anyway, Haruka-senpai told me that Onii-chan told him once that he wanted to swim in a pool full of cherry blossoms one day, before he left for Australia. From what Makoto-senpai said, it was something important to all of them. And right now, our pool is full of them!” Her excitement began to pick up as she spoke, and some of the sadness finally left her voice. “Haruka-senpai asked Onii-chan to meet him at the Iwatobi pool tonight, and we’re going to surprise him with the cherry blossoms!” She squealed, before quickly covering her mouth and frantically looking around to check that no one had heard her.

I couldn’t help but chuckle at her enthusiasm, and once again, I found myself admiring Gou’s kindness. She had a huge heart, which she wore on her sleeve, and it had always been one of the things I loved most about her. It was even enough to allow me to ignore her awkward muscle obsession. “Okay, I’d like to help.”

Gou practically screamed with excitement, before pulling me into a tight hug. 

***

When I arrived at the school pool that afternoon, I was stunned by the beauty of it. I stood and stared at the pink tinted water for a while, considering how breath-taking it was, when I was almost bowled over by Nagisa. 

“Yuko, you came to help!” I had got used to his running hugs, and was now able to push him off myself.

“Of course she came, it’s for Rin.” Haruka commented in his usual cold manner, and I glared at him with an unimpressed expression.

“What I can’t just be here to be supportive during a team building event?” I joked, attempting to change the topic.

All of sudden, Gou shushed us all and seemed to jump, straining to listen. We all waited in silent confusion, before she ushered us into the club room, holding a finger to her lips as she moved. Once we were in there, she whispered “onii-chan is here!” and the others struggled not to laugh.

“How are you going to get him out there?” I whispered, struggling to hold in giggles.

Gou looked frantically around the room for something, and I could already hear Rin’s footsteps approaching. A devilish grin crossed Gou’s face, as her eyes fell on something behind me and I groaned quietly in anticipation. “Iwatobi-chan!” She snorted, immediately covering her mouth with her hand. I glanced over my shoulder to see the paper mache head of the school mascot.

“No, absolutely not! He will  _ hate _ that!” I hissed, but it was no use, as Gou was already starting to descend into fits of giggles, and struggling to stay quiet. I could feel giggles brewing in my stomach, and tried to keep my voice even, but heard the entertainment at the idea that was breaking through my words. “He will never forgive you Kou!”

“No time!” Makoto breathed, splitting into two groups either side of the door. “You all grab him, Haru and I will put the head on!”

Before I could protest, the door swung open and everyone moved in a flash. “Bring him!” Nagisa screamed, closely followed by the other boys mimicking bird sounds in a bizarre attempt to be intimidating. “Skree!” 

I struggled to assist with moving Rin through my laughter at the ridiculousness of the situation, but I attempted to still be helpful. “Come along quietly.” I was surprised to find that Haru still spoke with disinterest, even in such a tense situation and I realised quickly from Nagisa’s response that they had actually rehearsed lines. “Haru-chan, the sentence ending!” Nagisa peeped, whilst we all strained to move Rin. “Come along quietly, moge.”

At these words, I couldn’t hold it in any longer and burst out into obnoxiously loud laughter, much to Gou’s glowering face. I knew she wasn’t angry at me, but at the risk that I would make her laugh. “Don’t moge me, let me go!” Rin’s annoyed voice echoed through the paper mache head, causing me to laugh louder. 

“Yuko, are you in on this?!” He growled, trying to sound intimidating, which was ridiculous considering how he looked at the moment. I let go of his arm to push the door open, whilst the others dragged him through.

“Oh no! Don’t take my brother away!” Gou cried in a completely melodramatic fashion, before bursting into giggles beside me and leaving the boys to drag him the rest of the way, whilst we collapsed into a snorting pile on the floor. 

“Gou! You’re here, too?!” Rin screamed in aggravation from inside the head, which only caused us to laugh harder and fall back on the floor, mid way through trying to make it back to standing position. 

“Rin, stop kicking!” Makoto complained, dragging with all of his might to get him to the agreed rendezvous point.

I nudged Gou, and we both took deep breaths to try to stop the laughter, helping each other to our feet. We rejoined the others as they prepared to pull the bird head from Rin. “Will you guys give it a-” He started to growl as he was released from his trap, and his expression quickly changed from annoyance to pure wonder.

As I watched his reaction, I felt my eyes well up and had to quickly dab at my cheeks to stop anyone from noticing. Something about the pure joy in his face tugged at my heart strings. The boys explained the intention behind the kidnap, and I stood with Gou, watching Rin’s eyes twinkle at the cherry blossoms that floated peacefully on top of the water. Once they’d finished explaining, his bottom lip began to tremble, and he turned away from them to hide it. Unfortunately that meant he turned towards Gou and I, and I could fill my own eyes filling with tears. Gou leaned over to put her head on my shoulder, and her hand gave my arm a reassuring squeeze. 

“Rin-san, go for it.” He looked over at the boys with confusion, and they repeated themselves, gesturing with both hands towards the water. Even Haruka joined in, adding that he would allow him to swim in it just this once. Rin looked reluctant, stating that it was cold, but the boys were not so easily discouraged, starting to shuffle him towards the water. 

All of a sudden, the heavens opened and rain began to pour down, causing everyone to run for cover. I stood under one shelter with Rin, Haruka and Makoto, and glanced over to Gou, Rei and Nagisa, who looked crestfallen at the change of plan. I glanced over at Rin, who stared woefully at the blossoms in the shaken water. I couldn’t stand to see him come so close to a childhood dream, and watch it disappear before his eyes.

“You’re not really going to let a little rain beat you, are you Captain Rin?” I asked tauntingly, and his eyes whipped to my face.

“It’s freezing, are you serious?!” He stared at me in complete disbelief, and I knew I would have to try harder than that.

“So what? The blossoms are still there.” I stated.

He looked at me as if I had gone completely insane. “Yuko, if I go in that I’ll get sick.”

“What’s a little sickness if it means achieving a dream?” I could see the temptation behind his eyes, but I still knew it wasn’t enough. The longer we waited, the colder it got. Without thinking, I started to take off my jacket and Rin’s eyes widened. “Okay Rin, have it your way, I guess I’ll just have to achieve your dream first.” I moved slowly, waiting for his reaction, but he simply watched on in horror.

“Yuko, you can’t-”

“No, I guess  _ you _ can’t.” I spoke slowly and tauntingly, as I slipped my trousers down, and prepared myself to run. “Race you to the water!” I called, and as I stepped forward, I saw him raise a reluctant hand to the collar of his jacket. 

I took a couple of frantic steps in to the rain, pulling my Iwatobi shirt over my head as I moved and could feel Rin moving right behind me. Once I’d committed to the plan, and knew that it was working, there was no turning back. I ran towards the water with a feeling of pure dread, and just before I reached the edge Rin dashed past me and launched into a full dive. I laughed and pulled my legs up into a cannon ball, plunging into the freezing water with a gasp.

I surfaced to find Rin looking concerned, but once I made eye contact with him, he relaxed and even started to laugh. “Damn it Yuko, nobody warned me that you were insane!”

I laughed back, looking around at the cherry blossoms that somehow managed to stay on the surface, despite the rain that pelted down into the pool. I looked back at Rin, and noticed that there were blossoms settling in his hair. “Nice flower crown.” I laughed, staring at his glinting maroon hair, decorated with hundreds of tiny pink blossoms.

“Very funny, they’re all over you too!” He smiled back.

I paddled on the spot, trying not to admit how cold I was. “So, is it everything you dreamed of?” 

“I’m not sure, in my dreams it wasn’t this cold.” He chucked, exaggerating a fake shiver as he spoke. “Although, the pretty girl is a welcome addition, so it’s not too bad.”

I blushed at his comment, and avoided his eyes. As I glanced to the side, I saw Makoto and Gou rushing over with umbrellas and towels.

“Right, it’s all very cute but that’s enough! You’re both going to get sick, come on out before you catch hypothermia!” Makoto scolded, with Gou scowling behind him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me elsewhere!
> 
> Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PuddyGeeks  
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/PuddyGeeks  
Blog: https://puddygeeks.wordpress.com/  
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Podcast: PuddyGetsGeeks on iTunes, Spotify, Player.FM, PodBean & Stitcher!


	12. Bottling It All Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed this and want me to write more, leave me a comment! Comments motivate me to work ;)

I stood in the club room, changing to the set of clothes in my bag and shivered from head to toe. Gou had been visibly annoyed with Rin and I for taking the risk of getting sick, but there was a pleased twinkle in her eyes as she spoke. Looking back on it, I wasn’t particularly sure why I’d done it, but I seemed to be getting into the habit of doing out of character things when I was around Rin. There was something strangely intoxicating about his presence that made me feel bolder.

Once finished, I stepped out to find Rin waiting, and noticed that he had also changed into dry clothes. He flashed a cheeky smile at me as I approached him. 

“Where are the others?” I asked quizzically, glancing around to realise we were now alone.

“Oh, I said I’d wait for you so they headed home.” He spoke casually, before playfully pushing me. “I can’t believe you convinced me to do something so reckless!” He laughed, and we started to walk together.

“Well I had no idea it was so easy to bait a shark.” I teased back, putting my hands into my hoodie pockets comfortably. 

He laughed wildly at the comment, and I felt my heart soar at the sight of it. “Don’t tell anyone Yuko, it could damage my hard earned reputation.”

We walked in a comfortable silence for a while, both chuckling to ourselves. I enjoyed the way I felt with Rin, he put me at ease in a way that no one else ever had and I didn’t feel like I needed to keep a constant watch on my surroundings. “Congratulations on today by the way, that race was insane to watch.” I spoke excitedly, and I watched Rin’s expression change to joy at the praise.

“Thanks! It was pretty intense, and a good start to the season.” He answered, and I noticed that he responded to compliments in a very analytical way, like he wasn’t sure how to accept them. “How about your race though? I’ve never seen times like that! And that other Nishi swimmer, you toasted her!” When he spoke about me, his voice was overflowing with enthusiasm, and I found myself squirming at his words.

I looked at my feet whilst I spoke to avoid his keen expression. “Ha, thanks.” I cleared my throat before continuing. “Seriously though, you were so focused. I can see what you meant about Haruka-senpai, he is a good motivator for you. I’m glad you’ve found a way to channel that into something healthy.”

Rin looked uncomfortable for a moment, but gradually relaxed himself to my words. “Who says it was Haru that focused me? Maybe I performed well because I like you cheering for me?”

When I bought my eyes back to him, he winked and I felt my cheeks flush. I straightened my clothes and cleared my throat again, shifting awkwardly. “Anyway, this is me! I’ll see you around!” I quickly realised I was relatively near home, and waved as I dashed off in the direction of my house. 

***

Back at school, Gou and I were running out of ideas to attract new members. Despite our best efforts to advertise, no one had turned up to join, and Nagisa was starting to suggest that running through the halls naked was our last resort. Whilst Nagisa and Rei argued over new recruitment ideas, Gou sat beside me with a mischievous face.

“So, have you heard any more from my brother since your little winter swimming excursion the other night?” Gou’s eyes were alight, and I could tell that she was desperate for information.

I sighed heavily. “Kou, you know what happened. He waited for me to be changed and we walked home. That’s it.” I fidgeted with my hands awkwardly. 

“I can’t understand how you got him to do it in the first place, no one else could.” She looked at me in wonder, and I avoided her gaze. “I’ve never seen him act like he does with you.”

“You’re making something out of nothing.” I replied coldly.

“Oh really, what about at the tournament? When you were cheering for him instead of Iwatobi?” She nudged me playfully to catch my attention and then leaned in closer with a smug look. “And he came running straight out of his race to join us so he could cheer for you?” She raised her eyebrows suggestively. I stared down at the ground, but could feel her putting a hand to her chin in a thoughtful manner. “What was it he said again, when you won...that’s my girl? I wonder what he could possibly mean by that?!”

“Kou!” I whined dramatically, feeling my face burn up. “Will you just drop it!”

She laughed, before looking at my cringing form sympathetically. “Fine, fine! I’ll leave it for now...but this is by no means over.” A smug smile hid in the corner of her lips as we parted and I rolled my eyes frustratedly as hurried from the club room. 

Her words swam in my mind over dinner, and I knew that Ayaka noticed it. She watched me with interest as she spoke about her day, clearly aware that I wasn’t absorbing her words. Unlike Gou, she had the courtesy to continue chatting and not question me further, understanding that I needed my space. As soon as dinner was done I retreated to my room, wrapping myself in a blanket with Luna nestled up beside me. I tried to concentrate on my homework but my mind kept drifting to thoughts of Rin. By my third time reading the same page, I was actually thankful for the distraction of my phone buzzing.

**[18:37 pm]**

**From: Rin**

**To: Yuko**

**Good news, Sousuke finally joined the swim team. **

I smiled at my screen as I read his name, before blushing furiously. _ What is happening to me? _I buried my face in my pillow and groaned in frustration, unable to ignore the increase in my heart rate as his face drifted through my mind again. When I sat back up, Luna was staring at me with a displeased expression. I sighed deeply and forced myself to reply.

**[18:39 pm]**

**From: Yuko**

**To: Rin**

**Well, that’s about time! Looks like Iwatobi is going to have some serious competition this year.**

I put my phone down but it buzzed almost immediately and I was surprised to see him texting back so quickly. For a fleeting moment, I reconsidered Gou’s words about his interest in me, before firmly shaking them from my mind.

**[18:39 pm]**

**From: Rin**

**To: Yuko**

**Hey, I was on the team last year remember. Are you saying I’m not competition?!**

I laughed out loud at his response, and struggled to tell whether it was simply playful banter between us or something more. Either way, the one thing that I couldn’t deny is that he made me feel comfortable in a way that no one had ever done before. Since getting to know him, my confidence had grown. I was able to be myself more openly, to care for people and to share my humour with them. When I was with him though, I was the closest I’d ever been to my authentic self. My words often escaped me without my permission, and although I blushed and worried around him, it was only ever momentary. I never had to be fearful about anything I said around him, and I could always be honest. I took a moment to remind myself who I was talking to and allowed my natural cheekiness to flow.

**[18:40 pm]**

**From: Yuko**

**To: Rin**

**There aren’t any mixed gender races, I couldn’t possibly comment.**

I smiled in smug satisfaction as I sent the reply and could practically see the face he was making as he read it in my mind. I eagerly awaited his response, and took a minute to pet Luna to distract myself. As soon as my phone buzzed with a reply I snatched it back up.

**[18:41 pm]**

**From: Rin**

**To: Yuko**

**I’ll remember that Chibi-ko.**

*******

The next day after school we went to Iwatobi SC Returns to train. Miss Amakata sat on a deck chair at the side enjoying the gentle rays that flooded in through the windows, whilst Gou stood at the side timing us. As I exited the pool, I overhead the others discussing an upcoming event called Splash Fest there and agreeing to help out posters up in town. Once we had finished practice, the boys split up to cover more ground and Gou stuck with me. We walked together, searching out spots that would catch the most attention whilst making idle conversation.

“Oh, did you hear? Sousuke-kun has joined the Samezuka swim team.” She beamed confidently as she pinned one of the posters to a board.

“Yeah, Rin told me. That’s great news, I think it’ll help him a lot to have a friend on the team.” I replied without thinking, and Gou immediately turned on her heel to face with wide twinkling eyes. I gulped in anticipation, cursing myself for saying anything about it.

“You’ve been talking again?” She beamed, latching onto me and squeezing as if she could force the information out of me.

“He texted me about it, that’s all.” I wheezed, struggling to try to fight her off with no success.

“Wow, he didn’t tell me, I had to find out through my team contacts.” She gushed, staring at me in wonder before turning to a mischievous smirk. “And you try to say there’s nothing between you, it sure doesn’t seem like nothing Yuko.” 

Her teasing tone was the last straw for me before a frustration I hadn’t even acknowledged tore through my throat and made itself known. I pushed her back, and she stumbled in shock as I lashed out. “Why do you have to do that?! There isn’t anything and I’m sick of you trying to twist everything into your ridiculous narrative. Your brother is kind, understanding and compassionate, and he helps me. I like to think I help him too, we listen to each other when one of us needs someone to hear us. Rin has been an incredible friend to me, far better than you in fact. So do me a favour and stop making me doubt that!” The words fell from my lips before I could really acknowledge how I was feeling. Gou stared back at me in a mixture of hurt and shock, and I stormed away before I could witness her reaction.

***

I sat in my room bundled under a blanket in a cocoon that completely covered me from the world. Luna sat upright at the end of my bed, staring at me in confusion and concern. I had been crying for the past hour and finally ran out of tears. Instead, I’d decided to hide from the world and wallow in my self pity. I’d lost track of how long I’d been there. I switched my phone off and left it out of my reach; whatever was on there, I didn’t want to face. I was startled by a gentle knock on the door, and didn’t respond in the hope that whoever it was, they would go away.

“Yuko? Are you alright? You haven’t eaten your dinner.” Ayaka’s voice was unusually gentle as it soaked through the door, and I groaned to myself. She was out when I arrived, which allowed me to storm straight to my room. I didn’t realise she was home already, and was frustrated at her perceptiveness. When I didn’t respond she let herself in, much to my horror and I pulled the blanket tighter over myself. I heard her stifle a sight laugh at the sight of me, before she gently sat on the bed beside me. “Oh dear, why are you hiding?” She asked gently, the slightest tone of amusement hanging on her words. I still didn’t answer, hoping that if I was persistent enough she would leave me alone. “Did something happen again? Are you hurt?” Her voice was genuinely concerned now and I couldn’t stand the thought of worrying her.

“It’s nothing like that, I just need to be alone.” I answered quietly, trying to disguise the fact that I had been crying. I could feel without even looking that this had not succeeded.

“You know you can talk to me Yuko? I’m not just here to be your landlord, I want to help.” She spoke gently and reached for the edge of the blanket, but I sharply pulled it away.

“I can’t talk to you about this Ayaka-san.” I felt tears brimming at the edges of my eyes again and it carried in the tone of my voice.

“Didn’t I tell you to call me Oba?” She tried to sound light and playful, but I could still recognise the telltale signs of concern in her words.

“I don’t deserve to call you that.” I grumbled, allowing myself to sink even further into my pit of self loathing that I had created. I had never lashed out so unpredictably to someone I cared for. Gou may have a frustrating, meddling manner but all of her actions come from a place of deep caring. She has always stuck up for me, supported me and continued to be my friend even when I pushed her away. I couldn’t believe I had behaved so cruelly to her today, and now yet another member of her family was here to pick up the pieces. It was too much for me.

Ayaka sighed deeply. “Oh my, you teenagers are so _ dramatic _.” She drawled. “I remember being your age. I know whatever happened probably seems like the end of the world to you at the moment. So, why don’t you allow me to use my adult wisdom to help you realise it’s not, hmm?” She gently moved to pull down the blanket, and this time I allowed her to. As soon as she came into view, I began to sniffle lightly again, staring at her with wide watery eyes. “So, what did you do that was so awful?”

I stared guiltily at my feet, unable to meet her eyes as I spoke in a small, shaky voice. “I yelled at Kou. I was nasty to her.” 

Ayaka raised her brows, before softening her expression to one of understanding. “Ah, your first fight. We all have them, it’s a natural part of friendship, _ especially _ at your age. What was it about?” I felt my face flush ridiculously hot and knew that I was probably blushing into a wonderful shade of red about now. I really didn’t want to talk about Rin again, especially not with his aunt. It was bad enough having Gou analyse our every interaction, I didn’t need Ayaka to jump on the bandwagon. She smiled at me with amusement. “Embarrassing hmm? Let’s try an easier question, was it a mutual cause? Or was one of you angry at the other?”

Although I had managed to make eye contact before, I now resumed staring at my feet with an unwarranted intensity. “It was my fault, I lashed out at her for something that wasn’t my fault. I should’ve just talked to her about how I felt.” I fiddled with the blanket which was now over my lap as I spoke, allowing myself to think aloud.

“So why didn’t you?” She asked gently, leaning down to meet my eyes. She then sat back up straight, and once we had connected I followed her up. 

I sighed deeply. “Because I’m not really sure how I feel, and every time she brings my feelings up it just makes me more confused.” I answered, figuring it out for myself as I answered.

Ayaka hummed thoughtfully, and we sat in comfortable silence as she analysed my words. “Well, it sounds to me as if you were both in the wrong, but you’re right that you shouldn’t have yelled at her. Why don’t you give her a little space, sleep on it, work out how you feel. Then you should apologise and tell her how you really feel.”

I groaned and covered my face in embarrassment. “Why should she listen to how I feel? She probably hates me. She should.”

Ayaka laughed loudly. “I’m sure she doesn’t hate you Yuko, you’re best friends, these things happen and you’ll always be fine. _ Talk _ to her, you never know, she might surprise you.” She smiled and squeezed my leg, before leaving me to my thoughts.

***

I walked to Gou’s house in a daze, surprised that she had even agreed to meet me. I wasn’t sure what I was going to say yet, how I could explain behaviour that I didn’t even fully understand for myself. I changed into my usual jogging gear in preparation, I felt that I was most vulnerable when running and so suggested that she joined me. As I neared her house, I could feel anxious butterflies swirling around in my stomach, but forced myself to keep my commitment. I rounded the corner and was Gou waiting for me with a warm smile as usual. I felt some of the weight drop from my shoulders at her expression, but was still nervous about the conversation. She greeted me as if nothing had changed. “Hey Yuko, let’s run. Just be warned, I don’t usually do this so you’ll have to go slow for me!” She smiled brightly, and I stared back at her in disbelief. When I didn’t respond, she simply started to lightly jog and I quickly moved to meet her.

We moved slowly and I respected her pace, taking the opportunity for a more relaxed run than usual. I kept my glance on the pavement, unable to decide where to start with my explanation. Although I was relieved that she seemed to be her normal self, I could still feel the tension in the air and I knew that she was waiting for me to talk. I sighed deeply. “Kou, I’m truly sorry about earlier. I know you were only trying to help and you didn’t deserve the way I spoke to you.”

She smiled. “I know. But there’s blame on my side too, I didn’t go about it the right way. I’m sorry too.” I was taken aback at her apology, and completely lost my train of thought. “I can be intense, I know that about myself. And you’re still getting back to yourself. I need to be more patient with you, and actually listen. So, why don’t you tell me your side of things?” Her tone was gentle and encouraging. I could hardly believe that this was real, I’d never had someone respond in such an understanding manner.

“That means a lot Kou, I’ve never had a friendship like this before, it’s new to me. It’s also precious and I really don’t want to lose it. I just want you to know that.” We jogged in thoughtful silence for a while as I considered her words and how to convey my feelings. “Things have been pretty crazy since I got back here. My worst fears actually happened, and then in no time at all, things flipped to better than I could have ever imagined. It’s taking awhile to process.” We turned a corner and Gou seemed to have forgotten that she was leading the way around her neighbourhood, crossing the road and taking us back in the direction we’d come from. “I’m still stunned that I managed to come back and just pick back up my best friend as if nothing had changed, and I’ll always be grateful for that. Then, I’ve also become a part of the Iwatobi team and for the first time ever I felt _ part _ of a team, rather than just a tool for them to use. I have a friendship _ group _and you all take care of me.” 

I took a moment to gather my thoughts whilst she laughed. “Yeah, they all have their own way of doing that. But they’re a good team, and there’s a lot of love in it.”

I smiled back, and paused before continuing. “Look, honestly I don’t know how to explain the friendship I have with Rin. That seemed to come out of the blue more than anything else. But suddenly, I have this person in my life who I can be honest with, and who I am the closest to my real, true self with and I have no idea how but he makes that possible.”

“You know you can be yourself with us too, right?” She smiled encouragingly at me between deep pants, and I realised that she needed to stop. We slowed to a walk until reaching a nearby bench, and I put one leg at a time up to stretch. As I did this, Gou flopped onto the bench dramatically.

“I know I can, and I appreciate that. The thing is, I feel that I don’t really know who I am anymore. I’ve hidden myself away for so many years, that I don’t know how to be myself. Before I can bring down my walls, I have to figure out what they are and kind of feel out what a normal friendship is. But then, when I’m around Rin, he just pulls that out of me. I don’t have to think about what I say or how I act, I just am. And no matter what I say, he gets it. He’s been so kind to me Kou, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to repay his kindness. But if giving him someone to talk to helps him at all, that’s what I’ll be there to do.”

She smiled at me with glistening eyes. “I didn’t realise it was like that between you. I’m really glad you have each other to talk to. Onii-chan doesn’t really talk to anyone about how he feels, so I’m sure you’re helping him more than you realise.”

I shuffled awkwardly and stared at my feet before speaking again. “So, that’s why I get so stressed when you keep grilling me about it. I don’t feel like I can repeat the things he says to anyone, I don’t want to betray his trust or do anything to ruin it. And when you say things like you do about his behaviour and my reactions, it makes me doubt myself. And then I get super _weird_ and it’s not the nice comforting little bubble when I’m with him anymore.”

When I met her eyes again, she looked deeply remorseful. “I’m really sorry Yuko, I didn’t realise it was getting to you that much. I’ll try my best to tone it down.”

I sighed deeply in relief. “Thank you, I really appreciate it. So, are we good?”

“Of course!” She cheered, before jumping up to pull me into a tight hug. When she pulled back I smiled, genuinely glad that this seemed to be behind us. “Seriously though, I can’t run any further. You and onii-chan are beasts for doing this to yourselves.” She breathed deeply as she spoke.

“You realise I was going slow for you right?” I asked with a giggle.

_ “Seriously?!” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me elsewhere!
> 
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> 
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**Author's Note:**

> Follow me elsewhere!
> 
> Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PuddyGeeks  
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